How real friends make your life better

By Denise Turney
Real friends don’t agree with everything you think, say or do. They challenge you when you start veering away from your goals, your intentions and what you believe in deeply. Without real friends, you could derail and not realize it until you look up and see that your life is hanging over a cliff.

Real friends make up the sweetest nectar of life

Another thing that real friends do is to encourage and motivate you to keep going when you feel like quitting. Without friends, more than a few great achievers might have joined the ranks of those of us who give up on their dreams. Even more, because friends know you well, they can see through your self-deception. Although you may not like it, your friends know when you’re trying to sell yourself a bag of lies. They’re willing to stomach your anger in order to get a good message through to you.

Yet, perhaps most of all is the way that real friends mirror your worth to you. When given the choice, they opt to visit and spend time with you rather than putting in another hour of work, showing you that you matter more than a buck.

You don’t have to worry about real friends gossiping about you behind your back. In fact, real friends don’t gossip at all. They realize that we’re all in this together and that attack in any form is an attack of themselves, you and everyone.

Point is, you have to be self-aware and inwardly healthy to be a real friend. You’ve got to be selfish enough to seek out other people who are self-aware to hang out with, people who add lift and true power to your life. You also have to want to receive the same level of honesty from others that you dish out. Rather than “getting it real,” you opt to care for others. You’re not brutally honest; you’re lovingly honest.

Real friends make life worth living. They make life sweet. How many real friends do you have and are you a real friend to anyone?

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in my new book, Love Pour Over Me, hop over to, B&,, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

Stop lying to yourself

By Denise Turney
“You forgot to lock your door” or “Your lover is mad at you” are statements, eliciting fear, that you may have told yourself not once but several times. Depending on how repetitive your thoughts are, just to gain a semblance of peace, you might turn back and check your home or car door. If the thought points to your lover, you might spend hours, perhaps days, trying to figure out what went wrong and how you can fix things.

What you might not do is stop and consider how many other times a thought popped into your head, telling you that you’d forgotten or neglected something or that there was a “big problem” for you to deal with when, in actuality, you’d hadn’t forgotten or neglected anything, when there was no problem to deal with. Considering how full your life is, one “to do” piling on top of another, it’s easy to see how you could miss mental patterns you get stuck replaying.

If you’re not watchful, you could get stuck in one or more areas of your life. Your relationships could go from bad to better back to bad, all because you keep believing lies you tell yourself. You could become worried or anxious each time you think you’ve forgotten something, when there was nothing you’d forgotten.  Your income could increase only to go back down again. (Oh, our precious and at times incredibly annoying “thoughts”.)

But, those aren’t the only ways lies you tell yourself could keep you stuck. If you’re generally positive, you might tell yourself that a person who appeared to be smiling at you wants to date you, when they might have been smiling at someone standing behind you. You might tell yourself that your supervisor scheduled a last minute meeting with you because she wants to commend you on the job you did on a recent project.

This type of thinking can not only alter your moods, it can keep you from moving forward. This happens because lies are like blinders, keeping you from seeing the whole picture. If you don’t think lies you tell yourself have impact, stop and think about people who tell themselves they’re going to hit the lottery (and I’m talking hit the lottery big), and the lie propels them to spend $100 on lottery tickets at a time when the person is already thousands of dollars in debt — debt that was created due to gambling.

You don’t have to be a gambler to lie to yourself.

One way to stop the lies (or at least stop believing them) is to see and accept what’s going on in your life. Don’t sugar coat or downgrade things. Take action steps to improve one situation at a time. Measure the results of your efforts. (It’s why goal setting was so big years ago.)

Don’t tell yourself something is happening if it isn’t. Don’t live on promises when you tell yourself that something “magical” is going to happen to bail you out of a situation. Also, watch how certain thoughts keep you from making decisions and taking ACTION.

One last reminder — Pay attention to your thoughts. You just might be conning yourself.

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This must be done to achieve book writing success

By Denise Turney
Your new book is scheduled to hit the market in three months. Last night, you sat at your kitchen table reviewing the final page proofs, before shipping the manuscript off to your publisher with a few final changes. You’re excited, full of enthusiasm.

When your book publisher ask you about steps you’re going to take to get the word about your new book – the one you hope turns into a bestselling novel –  you rattle off a laundry list of activities, everything from attending book festivals to speaking at public events to upgrading your website to scheduling interviews. Fortunately, you won’t have to leave the comforts of your home to find and schedule dozens of the above events.

Follow through is more important than you think

Yet, scheduling book events (starting something) isn’t enough. If you hope to achieve success as a book writer, you have to follow through. It’s not enough just to add an event like a book conference or book signing to your schedule.

For example, if you schedule radio interviews, you can draft at least five sample questions to give to radio  hosts, making their job easier. You can also create a media page about your books at your website, so newspaper, radio and television interviewers can grab quick information about you to include in articles and interviews they do on you. And, of course, be sure to send the hosts your media kit.

What to do as interview dates get closer

One week before your interviews, contact radio hosts and let them know that you are ready for the interviews. Include the dates and times of the interviews in your correspondence to hosts. This way, hosts can reach out to you should the dates or times of interviews have changed.

Most importantly, show up for interviews at least 3 to 5 minutes early. Some hosts may ask you to show up 10 minutes early. Get in the habit of showing up for interviews late or not showing up at all, and you might earn yourself a bad reputation. Years from now, that reputation could make it very hard for you to land interviews which, in turn, could impact you ability to generate book sales.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in my new book, Love Pour Over Me, hop over to, B&,, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

Find out if you’re falling in love

By Denise Turney

You feel alive, alert and in tune with everything around you, in ways that you hadn’t before you met your lover!  To exclaim that life is wonderful feels like such an understatement to you. If everyone could feel the way you feel right now, the world would be a much better place. Emotions and moods like depression, frustration, anger and sadness might not exist.

Being in love with someone else is one of the sweetest, most rewarding, feelings and experiences anyone could ever have!  Yet, a racing heart, overflow of hopefulness and a constant expectation that rich experiences will continue to unfold right before your eyes, doesn’t always point to the fact that you’ve joined in love with someone else.

What you’re experiencing could actually be lust. If you don’t pay attention, the relationship you’re having with your lover may not ascend beyond infatuation, could even dip downward into obsession. Neither you or your love wants that. To increase the chances that you’re actually in love and not feasting on lust, find out if what you’re experiencing meets the signs of falling in love.

According to Live Science, there are scientific signs of falling in love. These signs include thinking that the person you’re in a relationship with is unique or special. When you’re in love, you also focus on the positive traits your lover has.

Furthermore, “You bounce between exhilaration, euphoria, increased energy, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, trembling, a racing heart and accelerated breathing, as well as anxiety, panic and feelings of despair when your relationship suffers even the smallest setback.” The trick with this is to avoid longing for the “high” being in love brings. Get stuck on the “high” and you could find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship,, moving on to someone new whenever the “high” of being in love starts to wear off.

Longing to be with your lover all the time is another sign that you’re in love. Another sign that you’re in love is if you wonder what your lover would think about an outfit you wore, a new job promotion you received, how your home would look if you rearranged the furniture, etc. Bottom line. You care about what your lover thinks. You also want to see and help make them feel happiness, joy and satisfaction.

If you want your relationship to last throughout the remainder of your physical experience, you’re going to have to learn how to honor, respect, celebrate and appreciate your lover long after the feelings of being “in love” have evolved into something deeper. Appreciating the small, everyday things the person you love does goes a long way. So too does communicating with your lover regularly so you can deepen the emotional bond that you share.

It’s this that Raymond and Brenda learn as they evolve and grow as scenes unfold throughout Love Pour Over Me.

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Winter holidays lead to summer weddings

By Denise Turney
Moods are high, emotions warm during Christmas, one of the few times of year when millions of people in different parts of the world lay their grudges down and opt to love. Visiting family and friends isn’t all young lovers do during winter holidays. Young lovers also deepen their romantic relationships, choosing to get engaged, setting a summer wedding date, rather than limiting their relationships at “only dating”.

Getting married once and for all time

In fact, December is the most popular month for couples getting engaged. Soon after accepting a marriage proposal, as many as 27% of women pick up the telephone and share the news with a best friend. A sign in today’s world that brides believe that their marriages will last forever is the fact that 75% of new brides change their Facebook status after they exchange wedding vows with the man they love.

On average, an engagement last 14.7 months, as shared by MSN. When it comes to taking engagement photos, 69% of couples who agree to tie the knot make a trip to a photographer’s studio so they can take a picture, perhaps grabbing at the chance to solidify their love.

Measuring the depth of true love

However, for some couples the wedding never happens. Arguments, school, finances and other people come between these couples, making it hard for them to communicate. But, that doesn’t mean that the relationship is over permanently. Temporary lulls interrupt the best relationships, if not before a wedding then after a wedding.

The question is if true love can withstand the toughest knocks. The question is if a couple that once loved each other deeply can find their way back to love after the heat in their relationship has turned as cold as a hard winter day. Brenda and Raymond explore these challenges very deeply in Love Pour Over Me. Their love affair brings them to more than one tough conclusions.

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Great gifts for freelance writers

By Denise Turney
Freelance writers love to receive gifts that make it easier for them to start and finish writing projects. A new laptop, a waterproof keyboard or a multi-functional printer are great gifts for freelance writers. It’s these types of gifts that save freelancer writers time. Because freelance writers put in long hours, cranking out one article, white paper, press release or website content project after another, little beats a comfortable, high-back leather chair as a gift.

Great gifts that freelance writers will love

You can warm freelance writers’ hearts by gifting them with scented candles, back warmers or a pair of comfortable socks, the kind of socks that have cartoon characters on them. Writers love inspirational and motivational quotes; add in cartoon characters and you have a winning combination. Speaking of motivation, you can encourage the freelancer writers in your life to step away from working and take a deep breath, by giving them an iPod as a gift.

An iPod will give freelance writers a reason to exercise their imagination. After all, who doesn’t love to daydream, imagining that he’s setting an Olympic record or creating the next New York Times bestselling novel? Depending on their lifestyle, freelance writers also might turn on their iPod and take off running, skateboarding or bicycling around the neighborhood.

Hard to beat that for staying in good physical condition and keeping the creative juices flowing. If you know someone who freelances who doesn’t have a smartphone, it might be time to upgrade them. Should the freelance writer argue that she’s doing just fine with her old cell phone, consider pointing out that she can search the Internet, completing writing research work, email her writing clients and stay in touch with family and friends — all while using a smartphone.

Laptop cases, ruled executive calendars, spa gift certificates and foreign language software are other great gifts for freelance writers. Bookends and a tall bookcase are other gifts freelance writers appreciate and use. You can’t go wrong when buying freelance writers felt or quill pens either. The creative types will definitely make good use of those gifts.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in my new book, Love Pour Over Me, hop over to, B&,, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

7 way to use social media to market books

By Denise Turney
Authors published by traditional book publishers are learning what self-published authors have known all along. Book marketing is in the author’s hands. Fortunately, social media networks can be used to connect authors with thousands of loyal readers. Seven key steps writers can take to get the word out about their books at social media networks include:

  • Post free book excerpts at their social media accounts, being sure to include links to their book websites or book order pages.
  • Announcing dates, locations (i.e. street address, website URL) and times for upcoming author interviews at social media networks. For example, if authors are interviewing on online radio shows like Off The Shelf and Blake Radio, they can post flyers about the interviews at their social media accounts.
  • Share pictures of book covers at Pinterest. Again, to get the most out of the posts, it’s important that authors include links to their websites or book order pages with the pictures.
  • Publish links to book blog posts at social media networks.
  • Support other authors and book readers at social media networks by commenting on intriguing or interesting posts. Authors don’t even have to add their website URL to their comments. Social media networks automatically add linkable profile names or images to comments that visitors can click on.
  • Create a powerful social media profile. Book writers should do this for each social media account they have.
  • Add quotes about or made by book characters to social media network updates.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in my new book, Love Pour Over Me, hop over to, B&,, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.

How to sustain a freelance writing career

By Denise Turney
Freelance writing offers a range of rewards, including the chance to work from home, set your own hours, travel and give yourself salary increases two or more times a year. Salary increases come for freelance writers when they market their skills and land jobs with higher paying clients. Freelance writers can also give themselves salary increases by working longer hours or taking on more projects.

Developing a successful freelance writing career

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, writers, including freelance writers and authors, earned a median annual salary of $55,940 in 2012. Sustaining a successful freelance writing career calls for tenacity, resilience and assertiveness. Assertiveness is crucial because rare are the instances when corporations and small business reach out to freelance writers, especially new freelance writers, asking them to create content for them.

This means, writers have to build winning portfolios that highlight key projects (i.e. website content, headlines, product reviews, advertorials, white papers) they’ve worked on. In addition to publishing their portfolios on the Internet, to land more higher paying clients, freelance writers research the market and contact companies they’re interested in writing for. They do this at least one day a week. It helps to keep their name in front of quality employers.

Continuing to grow a freelance writing portfolio

To keep themselves honest, successful freelance writers may keep a spreadsheet or database that details the names of prospective clients they reach out to, the date they contacted a prospect and the results of the contact. Should initial contacts not prove fruitful, freelancers schedule a date to follow p with those prospects. That’s right. Earning a living as a freelance writer requires these creative workers to perform sales work, and regularly, again – at least once a week. Rather than getting comfortable working for one to two clients who provide them lots of writing work, successful freelancers continuously market themselves.

In fact, some freelance writers don’t rest until they land 10-12 writing clients. It goes without saying that successful writers value each word they use. They work to get out in front of a story. Rather than copying work from other writers, they’re original, innovative. To stay sharp, they also complete certifications and continue learning.

When work is low, successful freelance writers contact clients they haven’t received work from in several weeks, asking if they have content they need created. They value these relationships and keep in touch with all of their clients throughout the year.

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The drive to keep running from pain

By Denise Turney
It’s a good thing to pursue happiness. After all, pain and disappointment do not come bearing worthy gifts. However, running from pain is not the same as pursuing happiness, and being that we are creatures of habit, if we run away from pain too long we may become experts at it and miss out on the thing we want to experience most – real love.

Putting an end to the run

Even so, few people, if anyone of us at all, sees running from pain as a means to avoid love. It’s a ritual or habit that can start early in our lives, when we are kids. We may be repeatedly disappointed by a parent who makes promises but seldom keeps them. Or we might witness one or both of our parents walking out of our lives as if we were merely children they’d met at a park, not people they helped to create, not their own flesh and blood.

Let these heart wrenching experiences continue to find their way into our lives and it’s no wonder some of us shy away from love and affection. We’re tired of being hurt, tired of being disappointed. We might even think that we only get hurt when we let people get close enough to us to cause us to feel love for them. After all, as the saying goes, it’s often the people who are closest to us who cause us to feel the deepest pain.

When this happens to Love Pour Over Me’s Raymond Clarke he responds the way many of us do. He turns away from love, even dismissing it when it shows up in a woman who has never disappointed or hurt him before, a woman he was born to love. Raymond’s good at running, but over time even he realizes that running has cost him too much. Even he, the man with the broken childhood, realizes that it’s time to stop running from love in ways that are disguised as running from pain.

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to, B&, and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Even if you choose not to purchase your copy of Love Pour Over Me today, I encourage you to “consider Love.”

Lasting benefits from running

By Denise Turney
Runners reap rewards other athletes don’t. A clear mind, lower stress levels and a healthy, slender physique are byproducts of running long distances. Run at a 10-mile per hour pace and you can burn more than 310 calories. Depending on your body weight, you might burn considerably more calories.

Exercise isn’t the only running benefit

Your endorphins rise while you’re cortisol levels lower. Raise your endorphins and you’ll feel better, happier. Endorphins are brain neurotransmitters that send electrical signals throughout your nervous system. As these chemicals (endorphins) are released your immune system improves, your libido may be stimulated and your mood may rise. Endorphins also help you deal with stress and pain.

Those are good things, all which you can get from running.

Raising your cortisol levels isn’t so good. In fact, heightened cortisol levels can cause you to feel tired, even after you’ve gotten 8 or more hours of restful sleep. You might also have difficulty thinking clearly, feel jittery, gain weight and/or raise your blood pressure if your cortisol levels remain high for too long. Staying in these prolonged states is dangerous. Blood tests are generally performed to determine your cortisol levels.

These benefits might explain why long distance runners experience what some refer to as “runners high”. Sporting a thinner frame offers another benefits — an improved self-image. Add in championship competitions, similar to those Raymond Clarke (star character in “Love Pour Over Me”) races in, and your self-esteem and self-image can be strengthened even more.

Even more, running is fun. Cover 10 or more miles and you can see parts of your community you might not otherwise have learned about. Start and end routes in different locations, and you could learn enough about these areas to pad your bank account by writing and selling real life and/or travel articles.

Because your head clears while you’re running, answers to problems you’ve been dealing with may bubble to the surface. It’s these benefits that make running more than an exercise regimen, that make running a gift, a blessing.

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