Tag Archives: self help books

11 Easy Things You Can Do That Prove You Love Yourself

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By Books Author Denise Turney

person holding golden love balloon
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Prove you love yourself. You know it’s time you did this. But how do you know you’re loving yourself, even now? How do you really know?

Think about it. If you were asked to list signs of having a cold, what would you list? Scratchy throat, stuffy nose, cough and tiredness? What if you were asked to list symptoms of being excited? Would any of these appear on your list – alertness, curiosity, rapid heartbeat, happiness and feeling alive?

Exploring Unconditional Love

Finally, what if you were asked to create a list of signs that prove you’re loved? If someone found your list, what would they find? Would they find words like warmth, kindness, appreciation, acceptance, realized value, welcomed, desired, cared for, connection, safety and trust?

What’s on that list reveals what think love is.

When is the last time you gifted yourself with what’s on your list? Ask yourself, when is the last time you made yourself feel loved. This is a time when you (you alone) treated yourself in a way that caused you to feel unquestionably loved.

Prove You Love Yourself as an Early Start

Confession. When I was younger, I thought self-love was selfish. Back then, I thought the Creator put me in the world to love everyone else except myself. Guess that’s why I sometimes felt like love was a risk, a risky chance that might or might not yield the results I was seeking.

Now it makes perfect sense to me. The entire time I was committed to loving everyone except myself (again thinking that loving yourself was a selfish and negative act to engage in), I was waiting for someone else to love me. Each time I believed that I had loved someone else, sacrificed for someone else, I expected to receive love.

When that didn’t happen (and looking back, it seems like it didn’t happen a lot), I felt disappointed. Love seemed like a trick to me. Or, as Amy Winehouse sang, it was as if “Love Is A Losing Game”. Fortunately, I didn’t give up on love.

People Who Help Your Prove You Love Yourself

Do you believe in love? Is love powerful, weak, necessary, real or unreal to you? Did you become familiar with love during your childhood? Hopefully, your parents, extended family and friends gave you love. It is my trust that the people circling you as you grew up demonstrated love for you. Even more, I trust that those people poured love into you, making it easy for you to realize that you have value.

Whether or not that happened, you have to work to love yourself. You have to prove you love yourself. And you have to prove it throughout the day.

Yet, life gets busy. Before you know it, you’re telling yourself that you don’t have time to rest. You start to believe that sacrificing your peace and joy for a relationship, a job, a belief is best. Even more, you might convince yourself that you just don’t have time to do what it takes to make yourself feel loved. That’s why breaking big impact actions into small steps helps.

11 Easy Self Love and Self Care Acts

Here are 11 easy things you can do to feel loved. They’re simple acts that can have a long, powerful and lasting impact. Add these to your daily routine and see if you don’t start to feel better, see if you don’t start to feel more loved.

  1. Listen to a song that causes you to feel hopeful, happy.
  2. Sit still for five minutes as soon as you awaken. Do the same five minutes before you drift into sleep at night. These are easy self-love and self-care actions. After a while you might decide to increase the time to 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night.
  3. Write yourself a love letter. This love letter doesn’t have to be long. The aim is to tell yourself, to demonstrate to yourself, how much you truly do love you.
  4. Breathe deeply for 60 seconds. As a tip, you could use a virtual timer to sit still, sit quiet and breathe for 60 seconds. Should this sound like too much time, start smaller. Start breathing deeply for 30 seconds and then work your way up to 60 seconds.
  5. Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself three things that you appreciate about yourself today, right now. Pay attention to how you feel as you do this. Notice if there’s an area where you find yourself struggling to believe something good about you. (Hint: You’re awesome!)
  6. Drink fresh water each day. Also, eat a healthy diet.
  7. Exercise daily – moving your body in healthy ways is an act of self-love.
  8. Get outdoors and enjoy a safe walk in nature. Stay outdoors for 45 minutes. This simple act can improve your mood, mental focus and physical well-being.
  9. Take one day a week to rest. Instead of working, do fun, relaxing things that you enjoy.
  10. Dance to a song that you love once a day. Not only is this fun, it’s great exercise.
  11. Open up to loving relationships. Say good-bye to people who constantly criticize, belittle and abuse you.

Whether you give love to someone else or to yourself, it is from within you that love flows. To feel empowered and confident enough to be who you really are, prove that you love yourself. Go beyond simply saying that you love yourself. Prove it.

Dealing With Major Life Changes – When You Can’t Go Back

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By Books Author Denise Turney

People outdoors on a street dealing with major life changes
People outdoors on street Wikimedia Commons, Picture by Moheen Reeyad

Major life changes can knock the wind out of you. They can break your heart. One way you might be dealing with big shifts is by creating a set schedule. For instance, you might have developed a schedule for when you wake, exercise, check emails and relax for the evening. You could even commute the same way.

But schedules can’t stop life from coming at you. That’s right. Living small or forcing yourself into predictable routines won’t save you from big shifts. They could even push you toward boredom which, in time, could develop into a gnawing depression.

Daily Routines Go Away

I learned this the hard way after years of sticking with a workable routine. What you think is predictable won’t save you, even if that predictability is rooted in religion. The first time I learned this was after my mom transitioned.

Then, I learned this when my dad moved, leaving us with our paternal grandparents for a year. And I definitely learned this after my son transitioned. Writing novels couldn’t save me then. I’m surprised that I even started writing on another novel.

Dealing with Major Life Changes

So, what to do? How can you effectively deal with major life changes, especially the types of changes that you can never turn back from?

For starters, acknowledge that you are dealing with a major life change. Discover the impact that the change could have on you. The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory could be a good place to start.

Additionally, you might find it helpful to write about what happened (e.g., divorce, layoff, loved one transitioning). Even more, it might prove beneficial to talk with a trusted friend or professional about what you are going through.

Stay Motivated – Keep Going

And, referring to “going through”, encourage yourself that you will get through what you’re experiencing. Be honest about what you feel and experience.

Take breaks, especially when you feel yourself becoming imbalanced. Also, exercise, drink plenty of water and eat a healthy diet.

Pay attention to times when you feel tempted to eat or drink unhealthy. It could be a sign that you need to rest. It could be a sign that you need support.

Love yourself. Give yourself the positive help that you need.

More Ways to Deal with Major Life Changes

Getting outside for 40 or more consecutive minutes a day helped me tremendously while I was dealing with a job layoff during the Great Recession. Who knows? It might prove beneficial for you too.

Here are more way to deal with major life changes. Keep in mind, that honesty, patience and self-love are key components of each of the below actions:

  • Depending on the life change, you could write down benefits that derived from the change. For example, after I was laid off, I launched my freelance writing career. I also discovered more ways to connect my novels with appreciative book readers.
  • Take action to move into the next phase of your life. After all, you know that you can’t stay where you are. You don’t want to get stuck in a bad place.
  • Go on a social media and TV diet. Trying reading a good book instead.
  • Spend time with friends. For example, you could visit with one or more friends at least once a week. You could call a friend once a week.

Tips to Help You Shift

As hard as it may be to believe, getting through major life changes can teach you a lot about yourself. You can get through what you’re facing. Here are additional actions that you could take to effectively deal with major life changes:

  • Keep connecting with people who love you. As tempting as it might be, don’t isolate yourself.
  • Get enough sleep. But don’t oversleep.
  • Appreciate healthy (non-isolating) routines.
  • Avoid adding another major change into your life until you get through this change mentally, emotionally and physically.
  • Watch your finances. Don’t overspend. Money can’t help you avoid the stress that you want to run away from.
  • Try something different once a day or once a week. It could be something as small as driving a new route to work or trying a new salad when you visit a restaurant.

In this world, it’s impossible to avoid change. Regardless of what happens in your life, you’ll find great benefit in being patient with yourself. At the same time, sticking a few existing routines could help prevent you from feeling like the ground is shifting right beneath your feet.

But routines won’t save you from change. They can help reduce stress, but they won’t stop change. Keep moving in the right direction. Keep advancing. Surround yourself with loving people. Offer yourself as much support, peace and love that you can. Be like Mulukan in Long Walk Up and never, ever give up on YOU.