Achieving Real Success While Living Through Change

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By Books Author and Freelance Writer Denise Turney

man upset about change pushing carton boxes with negative words to avoid real success
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Real success is birthed in adaptability. Unfortunate events, ranging from scams, sickness, relationship problems and job stress, can stop your progress if you let them. To stay sharp, you have to adapt. This applies to good change too. After all, it’s not just undesirable experiences that create emotional and behavioral challenges.

This is due, in part, to how your brain works. Your brain is a complex organ that works hard to protect you. At first glance, that may sound like a win-win. Yet, it comes with results that could produce mental blocks and resistance to change.

Thrive – Getting Beyond Survival

Forbes puts it this way, “The key aim of the brain is survival.” Furthermore, “unpredictability and uncontrollability, in particular, create a malicious combination with which our brain finds it extremely difficult to deal. This in return further elevates stress levels and produces undesirable emotions that we would rather avoid.”1

Should this happen, you might feel a range of emotions. Even more, your perceptions about the world, people and relationships could shift, maybe improve or become disruptive. If you struggle during change, your heartbeat might hasten. Or your appetite might shift significantly. Other changes you could experience include temporary memory fog (where you find it difficult to remember people’s names, etc.), a harder time focusing, lack of engagement or connectivity.

Although these experiences may be related to challenges in adjusting to undesirable change, they could also occur if you undergo change after you receive something that you’ve long wanted. Today’s world offers countless opportunities to improve your adaptability skills, positioning yourself to smoothly leap change hurdles and enjoy real success.

Signs You Resist Change

Resisting change can feel magical, like a trick. You convince yourself that you can stop change. And if you can’t stop change, you tell yourself that you can limit the impact that change has on you. The problem is you’re living in a world of constant change.

Keep resistance to change up and you might exhaust yourself. Even more, you’ll stop yourself from experiencing sustained real success. More pronounced signs that you resist change include:

  • You stop showing up for projects, relationship conversations, financial talks, etc. that require change
  • Negativity becomes your trademark
  • Nostalgia is a dominant emotion you experience
  • When you consider “good times,” you’re thinking about the past
  • Gossiping about leaders championing change becomes normal for you
  • “This is the way we’ve always done things” is a familiar phrase you speak

If the this was a world where very little changed second-by-second, your resistance may yield a reward. But because the world is always changing, constantly, this type of resistance doesn’t pay off in good ways.

Tips to Achieve Real Success with Change

Here are specific ways to achieve real success while living with change. If you resist change, consider adding two or more of these actions into your day.

  • Learn something new every day. Practicing awareness is a quick learning path. Simply pay attention to what’s happening inside of you and around you.
  • Break a habit once a quarter. Train your brain to expect and smoothly adjust to change.
  • Monitor your results. For example, if you’re improving your budget and dealing with rising rent, you could identify two to three expenses that you could reduce or eliminate to counter the increase, so you’re overall monthly expenses remain flat or potentially lower. Track how you’re staying free of spending money in these two three areas.
  • Stay curious. You were curious as a kid; revisit the practice.
  • Create new solutions to deal with change. This could help you break habits that produce unwanted results.
  • Be honest. Accept what you see and keep adjusting until you’re living the life you want.
  • Meditate and move outdoors. These two steps can calm your brain.
  • Read good books and get sufficient quality sleep each night.

You Can Do It!

Anywhere you go, there’s change. Even if you stick to a routine religiously, you will encounter change. There are job changes that range from workload to types of work you do. Rising rents might motivate you to move. Then, there are relationship changes from breakups to makeups to new relationships.

The list goes on. On top of that, some changes are temporary, allowing you to bounce back to a former state. Other changes, like a loved one transitioning, are permanent. As you go through change, it may help to remember that none of us is in control of the universe.

Additionally, it might be helpful to remember that you are always loved and cared for. This is one of the harder truths to remember when you’re moving through great change. The good news is that, as previously shared, you can achieve real success while navigating change. Here’s to your success!

Resources
1. How To Optimize The Brain’s Response To Change (forbes.com)

13 Reasons Why Books Make the Best Gifts

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And Why You Should Buy Books for Your Best Friends

By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

woman lying down on grass beside opened books
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Books make the best gifts for a bounty of reasons. Art and entertainment are just two good reasons why your friends love to get books as gifts. Other reasons are hidden gems, to them and to you. Chance to improve your friend’s cognitive abilities is just a start, a benefit with long lasting effects. Then, there’s the psychological and emotional benefits.

Fascinating Artwork Pops

Let’s start with art!

A rare and skillful artist’s pen has helped to craft the artwork on the finest of book covers. Who thinks of paintings, drawings and sketches while shopping for books to give as gifts? Yet, it’s often the artwork on the cover that attracts your eye, isn’t it?

Explosion of vibrant, rich colors. Smooth or rugged texture. Moving shadows and odd, unique shapes. Admittedly, there are book covers so masterfully created that they are a work of art all by themselves.

Check out these winning book covers. See if you can spot what attracts thousands of readers to these covers. Are any of them your favorite, just for the cover alone?

the great gatsby by f scott fitzgerald cover
elskede by toni morrison book cover artwork
george orwell books as gifts 1984 book cover
the stargazers sister by carrie brown book gifts great book covers
books as gifts book cover artwork by terry mcmillan

13 Reasons Books Make the Best Gifts

As if highly crafted artwork isn’t enough, here are 13 more reasons why books make the best gifts. If you read merely for entertainment, several of these advantages might surprise you:

  1. Stronger brain – While reading, the brain’s visual cortex is activated. The temporal lobe and frontal lobe are other parts of the brain that are activated while you read.1
  2. Better empathy – The ability to understand and relate to another person based on emotions they’re experiencing is sharpened while reading good books. How so? Reading stories that spark emotionally charged memories, gets the limbic system fired up. Link loving emotions to a scene in a novel about forgiveness, romance or happiness and you could improve your ability to relate to people in real-life.
  3. Faster learning – Read more, learn more and faster. The more you read, the easier it is to comprehend what’s being shared on the page.
  4. Rewires the brain – Iris Reading shares that reading, “makes the brain rewire itself and creates white matter, making communication within the brain efficient.”2
  5. Improves memory – To pull this one off, read books that challenge what you already know. Pulitzer Prize winning authors dig deep into the human condition. These authors also use complicated sentence structure to convey a message, enough complication to challenge you as you read.
  6. Broader vocabulary – Back to those challenging novels and nonfiction books. Keep reading stories that challenge your current understanding, and watch your vocabulary grow.

Treasure These Rewards

Looking for more reasons to treat your family and friends to great stories? Here you go!

  1. Choose Education – Who doesn’t love to learn! Reading books is a low-cost way to expand your education. When you think about it, there’s hardly a classroom, postsecondary course or certificate-granting webinar that doesn’t require you to read a book to complete the training.
  2. Unleash your imagination – Science fiction and fantasy novels aren’t the only stories that free your imagination, letting your wildest dreams feel alive. Facts and history tidbits you read in nonfiction books rev up your imagination too.
  3. Positive mood shifts – Just like it’s impossible for most people to multi-task, it’s impossible to place equal focus on a project or concern and the pages of a good book. Start reading positive literature, and you could go from feeling angry or anxious to feeling hopeful and happy.
  4. Enjoy a good night of sleep – You don’t even have to read a lot of books to relax and start drifting into the sweetest sleep, fading memories of the last pages of an intriguing story still in your thoughts. If you’re an avid reader, you know how sweet sleep can be after you’ve been reading for entertainment for two to three hours.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

  1. Great media alternative – Imagine seeing an exciting or soothing story scene pop up instead of a negative news piece two to three times a week. What impact do you think that switch would have on your mental health and overall emotional wellbeing?
  2. Deeper dive – A sure way to get to the heart of a situation, historic or modern, is to read through personal journals, history books, biographies and autobiographies.
  3. Inexpensive gifts – E-books cost as little as $.99. Paperbacks, including brand new paperbacks, can be purchased for as little as $5. It’s hard for other gifts to compete with the benefits gained from reading books and their low costs.

Major Reason Books Make the Best Gifts

Not every gift offers 13 benefits, and at such low cost. It really is hard to top books when it comes to gift giving and for so many wonderful reasons! Yet, most of all, the good you gain from reading books stays with you.

Honestly, what gifts offer rewarding effects that stay with you like the effects gained from reading books? You don’t even have to keep a physical book at your side to enjoy the benefits. It’s not like wearing a coat, suit, hat or dress.

Pick stories that your friends and family absolutely love, and you’ll send the message that you care. Select stories the people in your life love, and you’ll let those people know you’re paying attention. It sends the message that you know what they like, and that you’re willing to do the good it takes to make them happy.

It’s Getting Easier as Books Make the Best Gifts

Now, that isn’t to say that finding the right titles for your friends is always easy. Fortunately, booksellers, particularly indie and local bookstore owners, know hundreds of titles that might make a perfect gift. If you’re in luck, you might live in an area that hosts a book fair around the holidays.

Talk about a shortcut to good book gifts. Who knows. You might even get these printed gifts autographed by the authors, potentially increasing the gift’s value. This gain is year-round. After all, new books are published every day.

Good stories, from classics to contemporary stories to the best nonfiction, make great birthday, anniversary, retirement and holiday gifts. The next time you sit down and enjoy a good story, ask yourself if it wouldn’t be sweet to share that experience with a friend by gifting them with a similar experience, all through the pages of a book.

Resources:

  1. Areas of the brain involved in reading and writing – Psychology Info (psychology-info.com)
  2. What Happens In The Brain While Reading? | Iris Reading

A Mystery, What If You Can’t Let the Departed Go

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By Freelance Writer and Mystery Writer Denise Turney

blue sea visit to say goodbye to departed loved ones
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It’s hard enough to let the departed go after a funeral or homegoing service. Even if you consider yourself a spiritual person, you can’t deny that there’s been a huge shift. Communicating with your loved one who has left their body will either end or take great work to continue.

Leaving Your Body Is Not the End

If you believe you’re an eternal being, you know that leaving a body is not the end. On the other hand, if you believe that the only reality is a fleshly existence, the departure is permanent. Regardless of your belief, there’s been a great change. And you have to deal with it.

Remembering your loved one, instead of working to forget them, is a way to maneuver through the change. Looking for ideas? To keep your loved one’s memory alive, you could:

  • Write a letter to express emotions related to your relative or friend
  • Create a collage with pictures of fun times shared between you two
  • Talk with relatives and friends about the departed
  • Frame a picture of your loved one and keep it in your living space
  • Light a candle for someone dear to you who has transitioned

Also, allow yourself to laugh and smile at happy memories. For sure, it might take work, but start to move through guilt feelings and guilt thoughts. Begin to treasure the sweet memories that you created with your loved one.

Dealing with Trauma or Grief

This is where watching home videos, reading cards from your departed friend and re-reading a letter could prove helpful. The key is not to depend on these experiences. After all, nothing is forever or permanent in this world, including routines you make to deal with trauma or grief.

Other smart actions you could take to move through grief and let the departed go are below. As with other life experiences, go with what works for you.

  • Hold an annual memorial to honor your loved one. For instance, you could hold a private or a public memorial on your loved one’s birthday. This happens with departed entertainers and other celebrities.
  • Visit a cool spot that your loved and you frequented on a special day once a year
  • Add your friend to your artistic work. As an example, you could include your friend’s name in a poem, short story or play that you write. Or you could paint a picture of your friend.
  • Keep in touch with relatives of your loved one. Do this in healthy ways and with the agreement of the relatives.

Messages from Beyond

Depending on your beliefs and abilities, you could receive messages from beyond. Should you be a gifted seer, you might receive messages from beyond from someone you don’t know. In this case, the process to let the departed go could extend into the unknown.

A young girl named Carolyn deals with this in Spiral. Her experience is similar to what other people with the ability to be a seer have shared. “I felt another presence, like I wasn’t alone,” some people who receive messages from beyond say.

Another experience these people share is how they “heard people’s names, dates, places like cities and streets” they’d never heard about before. These cases may occur because there’s an unresolved issue, which raises a good point.

What if it wasn’t you, but the departed, who was having trouble letting go?

What Happens in Ghost

Ghost is a popular movie that deals with this. At first, Demi Moore’s character moves right into grieving, a healthy step. After all, delaying grieving might seem safe, protecting you from strong emotions, but it won’t keep you from realizing that someone you love is no longer here.

Then, strange phenomena start to occur. Unwillingness to turn away from what’s happening and clear memories about her partner, key Moore’s character, Molly Jensen, into the fact that she could be hearing from her loved one. Together, Molly and her departed loved one, a man named Sam Wheat, solve a murder.

Following through on what Sam shares with her is the only way that Molly will get to peace. She becomes as emotional as Sam is to solve the mystery. Fortunately, Molly does find who murdered her boyfriend, Sam. After that, both Molly and Sam are free. It truly was a loving way that Molly let the departed go, so he could continue his journey.

Love People While They’re Here

If we’re truly nonphysical beings, it’s not impossible to think that a departed loved one could connect. Just as they would if they were still in their body, a loved one could seek help to resolve an issue they were unable to close while they were here. Carolyn is up for the task in Spiral. For her, a 10-year-old girl, it’s as if she has no choice.

Choices this young girl makes help more than the departed let go and enter peace. Her works influence an entire town, opening up the possibility for generations to live free. Carolyn gets it.

Unresolved issues could make it hard to let the departed go. Therefore, take it easy on yourself. Treat the people in your life, including strangers, with love. Appreciate people you say you love. Say what you want to say, rooted in love. Let people know how much they mean to you. Share your love. Be kind, thankful and caring.

After all, this world is a mystery. One day, you’ll have to let it go. Loving everyone you meet can make the process easier for you and the people who cross your path.

Signs Someone in Your Family is Your Best Friend

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By Freelance Writer and Book Author Denise Turney

two family friends laughing at each other
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It’s sweet when someone in your family is your best friend, especially if you grew up with this relative. Know them since you were a toddler and you have loads of history. You’ve been there for each other nearly every step of the way.

The Best Friend Who Makes You Feel Accepted

Because you know each other so well, there’s often no need to explain your opinions, beliefs or ambitions to them. Another gain is that you don’t have to work to be your “authentic self” while you’re with your family friend. Hanging out with them is a great way to feel accepted, like you belong.

That alone is strength, is empowering.

Despite these advantages, you might not think of a relative as your best friend. Even more, you might not know who in your family is your best friend. That person could be your parent, an aunt, an uncle, cousin, grandparent or a sibling.

Signs Someone in Your Family is Your Best Friend

They might even be someone who became part of your family through marriage. Signs a relative is your best friend include:

  • You laugh a lot when you’re with them, the knee slapping rib busting kind of laughing
  • Sharing a secret with them is easy
  • When you’re with them, you feel loved
  • Your energy shifts into a better space when you two are together
  • Going days without communicating with them isn’t something you want to do
  • If you’re in a jam, they are among the first people you call
  • Both of you turn to each other for advice
  • Vacationing together is fun
  • Family get togethers are events you look forward to as it gives you a chance to hang out someone in your family who is your best friend

You’re Not Alone

A friend keeps you from feeling like you’re alone in the world. Having just one person in your life who makes you feel like you belong can boost your confidence and give you hope. When you feel like you belong, you can also:

  • Reduce your stress levels
  • Improve your sense of worth
  • Sleep better at night
  • Face mistakes you’ve better with confidence
  • Realize how alike you are to other people
  • Cope with challenges better
  • Avoid feeling deep loneliness
  • Live life with a sense of support
  • Feel empowered to ask for help
  • Know someone loves being with you, loves your company

Someone in Your Family You Trust

This world is full of ups and downs, constant change. It’s impossible to know what’s coming next every second of every day. To get through the world’s ongoing shifts, you might need to talk with someone you trust, you might need to talk through plans with someone who has your best interest at heart. A family member who’s your best friend gives you a quick ear, someone to bounce ideas off.

When someone in your family is your best friend, you also have someone you trust who you can discuss personal issues with. Instead of calling or texting a neighbor, colleague or classmate and hoping that they won’t spread intimate details you share with them, when a family member is your best friend, you can relax and know what you share won’t become gossip.

After all, you’ve both shared private details with each other for years. If neither of you has ever shared these private details with another relative, there’s a comforting shelter of trust that when you ask, “please don’t tell anyone else” your request will be honored.

Family Friends Offer Relationship Stability

When you’re sharing dating details, relationship troubles, vacation exploits and fun and games with your relative friend, it could all end in laughter. Let misfortune arise, something like a bad health diagnosis, and don’t be surprised if you weep absent embarrassment with your relative friend.

You might ask them to accompany you to your future doctor visits. It could be a good way to shield yourself from emotional and psychological hurt. And again, having this relative friend with you could keep you from feeling alone.

The older you get — or put another way, the more time you spend in this world — the more you might see the value in relationships. Even in this ever-changing world, good relationships offer the most stability.

So, consider letting the person in your family who is your best friend know how much you appreciate them. Tell them how happy you are that, in addition to being family, they care enough to be your best friend. It’s what makes family real sweet.

How to Help African American Women with Breast Cancer

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By Inspirational Books Author Denise Turney

photo of smiling african american woman with natural hair holding white flower
Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

There is something about sickness and death that can make you want to hide, keep what’s happening to you secret. Yet, hiding and living with anxiety and fear doesn’t stop the progression of a disease. Facing a disease like breast cancer doesn’t make the process easier either, but it can lead to healing. If you reach out and do research, you’ll find that there is help for African American women with breast cancer.

Actions to Help African American Women with Breast Cancer

As with other diseases, education is a good start. Organizations like Sisters Network, Inc., Black Women’s Health Imperative, African American Breast Cancer Alliance and Susan G. Komen for the Cure offer educational materials you can read and learn more about what might be happening to your body. The American Cancer Society shares research work on prevention, treatments, childhood cancer and how the disease responds to other issues like COVID.

Regarding the power of knowledge, among the actions to help African American women with breast cancer, there is:

  • Virtual and in-person training to help reduce fear, as you become aware of what to expect during testing, treatment and recovery
  • Sharing the importance of performing monthly self-breast exams (a lot of women discover breast irregularities during self-exams)
  • Knowledge about what happens during mammograms, including questions to ask screeners and your physician
  • Information on where to get free mammogram screenings and other breast cancer support free of charge

Training and Prevention, Healing for African American Women with Breast Cancer

In addition to knowledge, training is important. You may need training to perform monthly self-exams effectively. Regular monthly self-breast exams can be performed in the shower or in another private area. After performing several exams, it will be easier to notice changes in the shape or feel of your breasts.

This leads to more ways to help African American women with breast cancer. Some of the ways had been previously mentioned. They are other support actions include:

  • Training from a healthcare practitioner (Your OBGYN is a great start. It’s important to partner with an OBGYN who you feel comfortable talking to about your body.)
  • Monthly self-breast exams (Getting to know your body is important.)
  • Mammograms (The American Cancer Society and The National Cancer Institute can help you find resources to get free or low-cost mammograms. Additionally, your OBGYN might know where you can get free or low-cost mammograms. Some employers also provide free exams.)
  • Treatment options (Discuss treatment options, including financial support that may be available for treatment options.)
  • Diet (A lot can change when you discover you have a disease like breast cancer. Path to healing might come, in part, through diet. Consider working with a dietician to learn how what you feed your body affects your overall health, including your emotional health.)

You Caring Means a Lot

If you’re a relative or friend of someone who’s dealing with breast cancer, your care means a lot. Just knowing that you care and are willing to invest the time and support to help a friend with breast cancer means a lot.

Of all the ways to help African American women with breast cancer simply being there, over the long run, might be an immeasurable gift. More ways that you could help are to:

  • Offer rides to doctor visits
  • Drive your relative or friend to and from treatments
  • Help care for or babysit young children
  • Attend support group meetings with your relative or friend
  • Pray with and for your friend
  • Cook meals for your friend. You could even prepare meals that are stored in the freezer, so all your friend has to do is put enough food in the oven to dine on for a day.

Get Permission and Keep Reaching Out

Because each person is different, get your family member’s or friend’s permission to help. However, if you see your friend or family member is struggling and trying to go it alone, continue to offer support. Calling and stopping by your relative’s or friend’s home just to say “Hello” is a way to show that you’re there and willing to be a support.

Just being there and listening is such a gift. Organizations that help African American women with breast cancer are in the resources section below. There are many other organizations that you can turn to, including local organizations, that help African American women with breast cancer. Some of these organizations might be affiliated with a local hospital or treatment center.

Resources:

  1. Sisters Network Inc. – https://www.sistersnetworkinc.org
  2. Black Women’s Health Imperative – https://bwhi.org
  3. African American Breast Cancer Alliance – http://aabcainc.org
  4. American Cancer Society – https://www.cancer.org
  5. Susan G. Komen for the Cure – https://www.komen.org

Easy Shortcuts to a Better Life

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By Books Author Denise Turney

blackboard with your life matters writing related to shortcuts for better living
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Easy shortcuts to a better life are linked to rest, peace and greater satisfaction. These shortcuts help you to live in your natural state, more in tune with how you were created to live. Think about it. As a child who was loved, you may have spent hours, if not entire days, in a cocoon of love, peace and restfulness. Yet, by the time you entered kindergarten, your habit of living in peace, love and restfulness may have started to slip.

Other People’s Expectations

Gone are days spent enjoying being alive. Enter in other people’s expectations of what you “should do” and “ought to be” like. Once this happens, it’s not enough to just be yourself. An invisible “ruler” of what a good kid is like, what your parents or caregivers most want you to mirror and other people’s hopes for the specific personality that you should develop starts to show up and solidify.

Before you know it, you start glancing at other people, monitoring their approval or disapproval of you. Spot someone frowning in your direction, and you might hang your head. Let someone smile at you, and your head and shoulders rise. During those instances of external approval, it’s easy to feel good.

If only this world were filled with nothing except people who appreciate you. Easy shortcuts to a better life might be a snap then.

Key Shortcut

Think about it. Are you more confident while surrounded by friends or while in the company of a crowd who has repeatedly made it clear to you that you are not enough? Furthermore, each instance when you felt insecure, uncertain and uncomfortable were you either recalling an experience when you felt unaccepted and unloved or were you being disapproved of in that present moment?

This brings up one of the easy shortcuts to a better life. To step into your better life, commit right now to consistently give yourself love. It doesn’t matter what another person says. Regardless of how anyone else looks at you, gossips about you or judges you, love yourself. Put your commitment into practice and you’ll always be loved.

Forget dismissing the importance of this act. The love that you give yourself is as valuable as the love that you receive from others. Love covers all, is whole and complete and has no variation. In other words, love that flows through you is as good as love that flows through your best friend, neighbor or anyone. So, love yourself. You’ll be taking a reliable shortcut to a better life.

What Do You Really Want?

Other easy shortcuts to a better life are to consider what you really want. Because you’ve likely received verbal and nonverbal messages from others about what they’d like for you to do with your life, you might think that you know what you really want when, in fact, you might not know. Instead, you might have spent the last 10 years working hard to be what you think someone you admire (or someone who you’re afraid of) wants you to be.

That’s definitely not the path to happiness and inner peace. Should that be the track that you’ve been living on, it’s time to start moving down a different path.

Get clear about what you really want – what you really want, not want someone else wants for you. Also, start to map out specific actions you could take to get what you really want.

Explore What You Really Want

For example, if you want to open a bookstore, start to map out how to find and build relationships with book distributors, wholesalers, publishers and hybrid authors, and identify realtors who have experience locating retail buildings in the areas that attract large numbers of book buyers.

Additionally, you could contact your local chamber of commerce and find out the specific business licenses that you need. That’s just a start. Each action that you take brings you closer to what causes you to experience joy.

More Easy Shortcuts to a Better Life

More easy shortcuts to a better life follow. Check them out. See if they aren’t easy to implement.

  • Revisit activities that you loved as a kid. Age and time are no reasons to eliminate daily fun from your life.
  • Read a good book, the kind of book that’s so good you can’t help but tell all your friends about it.
  • Explore the great outdoors. Get outside and have loads of natural fun! This is a favorite of the easy shortcuts to a better life.
  • Schedule time to hang out with friends one or more times a month. Don’t let a busy schedule rob you of opportunities to be with your friends.
  • Go for a drive to an area you’ve never been to before. You might be surprised at how being in a new environment picks you up.
  • Try your hand at the arts. After all, self-expression is one of the easy shortcuts to a better life.

Keep Seeking Easy Shortcuts to a Better Life

Honesty is a must to get from where you are now to the life that you truly want to live. Keep seeking more ways to tap into your inner peace and joy. Ideas about new actions that you could take to experience an increasingly good and better life might come as you travel.

In this situation, you might see someone living a full life while doing something you’ve yet to do. Exercise enough courage to try the new thing and you might find another way to shorten the time it takes to live a life that finds you feeling better, more vibrant and more alive.

So, get out and explore. Try new things. Meet new people. Laugh. Add a spirit of newness to each day. It’s your life. Make it wonderful!

How Busy Entrepreneurs Are Finding Inner Peace

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By Books Writer Denise Turney

photo of women stretching together doing exercise for inner peace
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Despite challenges, busy entrepreneurs are finding inner peace. It takes creativity and flexibility, but it can be done. Creativity and flexibility are must because entrepreneurs juggle a seemingly endless list of to-dos.

Sales, improved return on investment (ROI), attracting the right human capital and increasing productivity are areas that small business entrepreneurs focus on day in and day out. When sales are up and ROI is good, these focus areas can send entrepreneurs, including owners of indie bookstores, into a wave of euphoria. It’s easy to feel at peace then. Yet, the world of operating a small business isn’t always smooth.

Stressors for Small Business Owners

There’s turnover, eroding team morale, economic headwinds and fierce product competition to deal with. During these times, small business owners’ stress levels can skyrocket. Even the most resilient entrepreneur can feel overwhelmed after living through just three weeks of employee resignations, a drop in sales and a pick-up in customer complaints.

That’s why smart entrepreneurs do more than seek paths from nagging stress to inner peace, they find stress reduction shortcuts. Although each person is different, following are some paths that entrepreneurs have taken to reduce stress:

  • Stay focused on long-term goals. As a bookseller, if I’ve heard this once, I’ve heard it a thousand times. Keep your sights on the long-term goals. Admittedly, the capacity to pull this off relies a lot on the next stress reduction step.
  • Believe that they can succeed. It’s not enough to keep your sights on long-term goals. You actually need to believe that you can be successful doing what you love. You really have to believe it.
  • Strong financial habits. This applies at the individual and business levels. To operate with inner peace, entrepreneurs know what to invest in and what to turn away from. Additionally, they pay employees, consultants and freelancers based on what their business can sustain long-term.

Keys to How Entrepreneurs Are Finding Inner Peace

Staying in balance and at peace is no small trick. Hence, the reason entrepreneurs committed to living in peace have a dozen or more tools in their kit, including:

  • Determination is a must. To keep stress down and to deal with stress in healthy ways, they are determined. Simply put, determination fuels entrepreneurs through a major mistake. As an example, if your sales team closed 35% more deals over the last two years than at any other time in your company’s history and you started celebrating too soon or celebrated for too long only to see large clients exit, it’s your determination to succeed that could surface new ideas. This very example has happened. And it’s understandable. After all, sales are why you’re a for-profit organization. You should celebrate. To keep your bottom line strong, you should also keep your eye on your existing customers and not just celebrate each new customer who walks through the door. Focusing too much on either and not enough on the other could cost you large chunks of business.
  • Persistence is a must-have in a successful entrepreneur’s toolkit. While they persist, busy entrepreneurs are sure to be flexible. The last thing they will do is persist with a tactic that’s never going to work. Yet, they don’t give up. Instead, they are willing to look at the situation differently. They’re also willing to ask others for insight. Getting input from the right people opens them up to new opportunities, new ideas and more success.

Organic Paths to Inner Peace

As beneficial as these stress reducers are, there are more ways that busy entrepreneurs are finding inner peace. These next steps are good for business; they also have a positive impact on business owners’ overall health. Try adding one to three of these steps into your day, even if you own an indie bookstore and face days crammed with meetings with bookstore buyers, authors, publishing companies, distributors, publicists and marketing reps.

  • Get outside, move and breathe. Entrepreneurs serious about finding inner peace, get outside regularly. Regardless of where their business is located, they find creative ways to get outside year-round. While outside, they might enjoy a 30-minute walk. Or they might dine outdoors with a friend, ride a bike or exercise at a nearby gym that has an outdoor workout area.
  • Feed their body nourishing food and beverages. This means they might have to go with fresh water with a slice of lemon for lunch and dinner meetings. Eating green, leafy vegetables and fresh fruits that agree with their body is a priority.

More Ways Busy Entrepreneurs Are Finding Inner Peace

  • Meditate. Yes. Entrepreneurs are finding inner peace through appreciation. They appreciate simply sitting down and being still. They might start off by sitting still for two minutes in the morning and another two minutes at night. If that seems too long, they might start with one minute in the morning and another minute of stillness at night and work their way up to five to ten minutes twice a day. Not only can meditating bring entrepreneurs more inner peace, but meditating can help surface new business growth ideas.
  • Invest in a good night of sleep. Going to bed at the same time and reducing blue light in their bedrooms are ways entrepreneurs improve sleep. So too is drinking organic cherry juice or eating cherries, as cherries have natural melatonin. Perhaps above all, entrepreneurs are finding inner peace by working through conflicts an hour or more before they head to bed, giving their mind time to unwind.

Trust The Process

As simple as it sounds, they also seek help. That’s right. Entrepreneurs are finding inner peace by asking business partners to take on certain responsibilities. This one might be tough at the start of their careers, especially if they’re accustomed to handling critical projects themselves. Over time, they learn that as their business continues to grow, they need to start delegating.

Even more, for these business owners, seeking help aligns with trust. Since no one can succeed in an island-business environment, they learn early that they have to trust others.

Using an indie bookstore as an example, bookstore owners trust the delivery drivers to get new books to their stores. And they trust utility workers to ensure that the lights are on at their stores. Another event that they trust is the flow of book buyers into their bookstores. When it comes to stress reduction and inner peace, trusting the process (after they’ve done their best) is paramount.

Resources:

entrepreneur.com/article/271055

What’s So Great About Growing Up in the 1980s

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By Inspirational Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

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The 1980s is a favorite decade for millions of people and for good reason. It was the decade of the fax machine, handheld video games, the Walkman, video players and VHS movies, calculator watches, office superstores and road races. For homeowners who’d previously spent years climbing a ladder and painting a four-story house beneath the heat and humidity of a harsh summer sun, the growing popularity of house siding was a most welcomed trend.

Convenience Makes the 1980s Favorite Decade

My paternal grandparents took advantage of house siding. Gone were the days of my grandfather climbing up to the roof in the unrelenting heat of summer to chip old paint off the house, so that he could apply a smooth, fresh coat of paint to their house. It’s this that brings up a good point.

Much of what you love about the 1980s, especially if you grew up during the 1980s, may link to a welcomed convenience. With this in mind, it’s clear that each 10 years will likely produce a favorite decade, especially as advancing technologies afford us more convenience. But back to the 1980s, that sweet time. In addition to the previously mentioned gems, newly developed products and services that help to make the 1980s a favorite decade include:

  • Compact discs
  • DNA advancements
  • Disposable cameras
  • Personal computers
  • Answering machines
  • Enhancement of home security systems
  • Fitness clubs
  • Music videos

1980s Entertainment

Reality television, the godmother of much of today’s social media videos, took off during the 1980s. Back then, it was common to find yourself growing up watching shows like MTV’s The Real World. If nothing else, those early television shows served as proof that humans find each other remarkably interesting.

Reality television offered an air of authenticity that viewers may have found missing from soap operas. When it comes to sports, Sunday afternoon remained the biggest day of the week, especially as it regards professional football. The Pittsburgh Steelers “steel curtain” wasn’t as formidable as it had been during the 1970s, but it still felt good rooting for the team.

Finding your favorite movies was as easy as walking inside your local Blockbuster video store. During those “modern times”, it seemed as if Blockbuster would dominate the movie rental industry for decades. Considering that you had complete control over the types and numbers of movie videos that you rented, watching favorite movies could be as cheap as $5.

Remembering The 1980s Great Outdoors Pursuits

There were no streaming fees or cable television monthly rates to deal with. That could be why kids played outside, having fun engaging in a game of kickball, basketball, baseball or dodgeball with friends. You might have to rewind the clock in your mind, but if you go back, you might recall how children and adults filled parks during the 1980s.

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For some reason, people seemed to be more active, preferring the outdoors instead of staying inside the house occupying themselves with social media, computers, chat rooms and video games, as many people do today. Tossing frisbees (remember those?) at a nearby park was a popular weekend pastime.

It was rare, certainly not as often heard as it had been just a decade earlier, but you could still hear an ice cream truck ringing in the distance. Parents sent their kids to the truck to buy an ice cream cone or another treat for them, at the same time that they gave their children as little as a dollar for an ice cream treat that they, the children, could enjoy.

Loving Family Tradition Goes Back to the 1980s

Another tradition that was slipping away was the family tradition of sitting around the dining room table enjoying a homecooked dinner. The television was shut off. Parents and children discussed the events of the day. Talk about a wonderful time for family bonding.

Oh, and when school let it, school was out. Unless you had homework to do, once you walked off the school grounds, you often didn’t bother to gossip about classmates. There were no pictures passed around, and no one that you felt was more popular than you because he received more “thumbs up” than you did.

Due to the fact that there wasn’t ample cell phone usage during the 1980s, another thing that was left behind at the end of the day was work. Fortunately, it really was possible to get away during this favorite decade. Trouble and challenge seemed packed away during the evening.

The 1980s – A Sweet Time

Yet, that’s the way that days gone by often seem and feel. Still, the 1980s was a time of family, outdoors fun and less technological connections. In-person relationships were highly desirable, sought after and nurtured, not with text messages or instant messaging, but instead with face-to-face lunch meetings, nights at the movies and visits to live music events.

Pop music was in vogue. So too was the women’s singing group En Vogue, and what a group. Those women were classy, sharp and had beautiful, powerful voices. Still, the 1980s was more than music. There were sports, namely Carl Lewis, Evelyn Ashford and Edwin Moses, who dominated track and field, a carryover from the 1970s. The 1980s was also the decade when television in the United States stayed on past midnight.

For so many reasons, the 1980s was a favorite decade. For so many, perhaps you, it was a sweet time, not that it didn’t have its challenges. But, in the memory there are experiences that lend the 1980s a spirit of fondness.

Why Journal Writing Is Good For You

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By Novelist and Book Writer Denise Turney

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Journal writing is growing in popularity and for good reason, especially as it regards self-awareness. Yet, that doesn’t mean that the benefits are obvious. If you’ve felt stuck or like you’re living on a hamster wheel, you may be aware that hidden beliefs could sabotage your success. You also might know that it can take weeks or years of therapy or self-help work to identify and remove these sabotaging thoughts.

Journal Writing to Discover Hidden Beliefs and Open Up to Self-Awareness

What you might not be aware of is how effective writing in a journal could be in surfacing erroneous beliefs. However, to work, you can’t just write in journals every now and then. To gain from journal writing, it’s a good idea to do daily journaling. In addition to creating a brain routine, writing in a journal every day could help you to notice behavioral, emotional or mental shifts that you might otherwise have missed. This leads to the first benefit that you could gain after you start writing in a journal.

That first benefit is self-awareness. This is an important benefit because without self-awareness, you might not know that something is off. When you consider how fast things change in this world, not to mention how many distractions you face each day, it’s easy to see how you could overlook a slight change that’s building into a big problem.

Internal Shifts That Happen When Working with Journals

It’s these missed shifts that could develop into internal blocks. For example, if you were told that “you’re a slow learner” when you were a kid, you could have the seed to a potential block in your mind. After being told that as a kid, let’s say that you grew up and hadn’t heard anyone say anything about your learning abilities in two decades only to have someone comment that “you’re slow” this afternoon. Just hearing that could cause you to experience an internal shift.

But you might not be aware that you’d shifted. You might even shrug the comment off, telling yourself that another person’s voiced opinion has absolutely no impact on you. As good as that sounds, what you tell yourself is happening might not mirror exactly what’s going on.

Another point to consider is how one erroneous belief could cause a negative domino effect, which is certainly not what you’d want. Therefore, the sooner you spot and identify an internal shift, the better.

Writing in Journals Sharpens Self-Awareness

So, how does writing in journals sharpen self-awareness? Writing in a journal:

  • Puts mental and emotional states that you’re dealing with in front of you
  • Keeps these mental and emotional states in awareness, allowing you to work through them with power
  • Helps you dig through internal blocks, offering rewards with each breakthrough

If you write your dreams in journals, you could also start to spot subconscious routines that are holding you back quicker. Due to the fact that journaling is a private activity, you might enjoy the comfort that what you write is for you only. Years ago, there were journals that had a lock on them, a way to potentially offer more privacy. Today, you could simply keep your journals in a drawer or a locked space. The point is to feel comfortable with becoming more self-aware. Another point is to welcome the act of allowing different thoughts and emotions to surface from within you.

This is more helpful than repressing feelings and thoughts that you don’t want to face. It’s worth mentioning that it takes honesty and courage to do the type of journal writing that digs and brings erroneous beliefs to the surface (or to the level of your conscious mind). So, keep at it. In addition, reward yourself for being honest and open. The payoff could be deep and long lasting.

More Journal Writing Benefits

As it regards payoff, check out the below benefits associated with writing in journals. Not only could you become more self-aware after you engage in daily journaling, you might improve your communications skills. Other reasons why journal writing may be good for you include:

  • Improved writing skills – With more people communicating online, via text messages and email, strong writing skills have proving to have impact.
  • Track and monitor personal and career goals – Consider using a journal to write down short-term and long-term goals, followed by actions that you will take to achieve those goals. Use journals to track your progress.
  • Become more mindful – The more you see the connection between what you tell yourself and how you feel, you might become more aware of the impact that your words are having on other people.
  • Sharper brain – Because you’re writing and not typing in journals, you can exercise different parts of your brain while you journal. The frontal lobe, the part of your brain that deals with cognitive functioning goes to work while you write.

Love Acts

  • Trust – As you allow beliefs and emotions to surface without hard judgments, you could become more self-accepting. Trust is another takeaway that you could gain. The more you write down what you’re feeling and experiencing, the more you might trust yourself to face things you’d previously kept hidden from yourself.
  • Healing – Releasing thoughts you’d previously repressed can reduce stress. It can also open you up to healing.
  • Reflection – Over the years, you can return to your journals to spot recurring themes in your life. You could also come to know what symbols in your dreams mean. Looking back through journals you wrote in decades ago can also give you better insight into what’s coming next in your life.

Writing in journals is a way to put the responsibility for your life in your hands. Start writing in journals and you may begin to see just how much your thoughts, what you focus on, fears that you’ve been running from and emotions that you find attractive are mapping out your life. Even more, as you continue daily journaling, you might notice your successes more. You actually might take the time to acknowledge and celebrate forward steps that you take. This could be when writing in journals becomes an act of love for you.

How Escaping Self-Deception Could Build Self-Esteem

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By Books Author and Novel Writer Denise Turney

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It’s time to face how you’re lying to yourself so you can start to build self-esteem. Why? Self-deception and self-esteem work in pairs. Engage in either and you’ll trigger the other, blinding yourself to empowering facts. But why is self-deception tempting? Well, it can appear to keep unwanted thoughts and emotions at bay.

It can serve as a defense system, allowing you to protect erroneous thoughts, even obvious facts that you need to face to recognize your innate greatness. According to Merriam-Webster, self-deception is “the act or an instance of deceiving oneself or the state of being deceived by oneself especially concerning one’s true nature, feelings, etc.”

Do You Engage in Self-Deception?

Each person engages in self-deception at different levels. Unfortunately, self-deception is far too familiar, even when reality if self-evident. It started at a young age for me. Examples of self-deception included smiling when I didn’t feel like it and then convincing myself that I was satisfied.

One instance, in particular, stands out. It was during the second-grade. The class was going to the circus. I didn’t want to go, instead preferring to spend the weekday evening with my parents and siblings. Teachers continued to announce to the entire class that all but two students had turned in their signed permission slips so that they could go to the circus.

Finally, the teachers told the class that one of the two students wasn’t going to the circus because his family was going out of town. That’s all that I needed to hear. Right away, I knew that the teachers were making it clear that they were waiting for my signed permission slip.

Personal Self-Deception Example

After speaking with my parents, I decided to go to the circus. My parents said that it was my choice, but, as my dad said, it was a rare opportunity and I might actually enjoy being at the circus. So, I went. But, I didn’t enjoy the circus. If anything, I learned what I didn’t like. Even more, I learned how poorly I felt ignoring myself in order to give into someone else’s wishes. Yet, that wasn’t all that happened.

On top of going to an event that I didn’t want to be at, when I spotted two teachers observing me at the circus, I smiled and “pretended” to be enjoying myself. Does that experience ever stand out to me. Today, it remains one (if not the first) of the earliest instances when I practiced self-deception and my self-esteem took a hit.

Bitterness from that first instance of practicing self-deception was directed toward the school teachers. However, the majority of self-deception that I’ve engaged in since has been in effort to avoid facing facts. Thankfully, today I practice awareness, build self-esteem and focus on awakening to steer clear of self-deception. Payoff is huge. It’s a blessing to stop practicing self-deception and free up the energy to do what brings you joy.

Reasons to Continue Awakening to Boost Self-Esteem

You might practice self-deception for different reasons. Additionally, you might engage in self-deception in different ways. Check out these examples of self-deception:

  • Procrastinating may be one of the more popular ways to practice self-deception. If you’re in conflict (one part of you wants to do something that another part of you doesn’t want to do), you might delay taking action. At the same time, you might keep saying how much you want to do what you keep putting off doing.
  • Drinking or eating too much to avoid facing a fact of life. If you drink or eat to the point of not feeling “sharp” or “on point”, you could blame not doing your best on the fact that you drank or ate too much. Then again, after you start awakening, you’ll have to admit that you made all of the decisions that caused this loop. Telling yourself the truth could make it easier for you to trust yourself and build self-esteem.
  • Convincing yourself that you’re little, unintelligent, don’t have enough authority, etc. to enact the changes that you want to see in your life.
  • Believing that a marketing technique, financial investment or habit will pay off hugely, in spite of the fact that you’re not getting out of your efforts what you’re putting in. If you’ve ever had a pipe dream, you’re familiar with this form of self-deception. Because self-deception doesn’t yield the results that you want, it’s not a way to build self-esteem.

Why You Might Practice Self-Deception

Reasons that you might practice self-deception may, at the core, be rooted in the desire to feel valued (another self-esteem link). The reasons might also be rooted in the desire to feel in control. As an example, if you believe that people with less than six-figures in the bank don’t have as much value as people who have six-figures or more in the bank, you could convince yourself that overspending is not damaging your financial health.

In this case, you might think that living as if you’re financially wealthy means that you are in good financial health. Build self-esteem and start awakening and it becomes self evident that you’re sucker punching yourself.

And, just as your self-esteem might take a jab should you fall for a trick that another person pulls on you, avoiding self evident facts by lying to yourself (practicing self-deception) could also weaken your self-esteem. After all, it takes courage to face a fact of life. It takes courage to really look at and examine what’s happening right in front of you.

Fact of Life

To do this, you might have to separate what you want from what you see. Back to the circus example. I wanted the teachers to be content with me without my having to do something I didn’t want to do. That was my desire. What I appeared to see with the teachers’ repeated request for the signed permission slips was the exact opposite of what I wanted.

How to bridge this gap? I pretended to be happy that I was at the circus and practiced self-deception. That single decision taught me, even if only temporarily, that I couldn’t trust myself. For sure, that’s not the way to build self-esteem.

Awakening is a great way to help yourself avoid self-deception. Instead of lying to yourself or pretending that something is happening that actually isn’t, accept what you’re currently feeling. Accept what you’re thinking right now. Look at and acknowledge facts, including personal, financial, health-related and relationship facts.

Let Go to Boost Self-Esteem

You don’t have to hold onto an emotion or a thought. Also, you don’t have to stay in a relationship or a situation that you don’t want to be in. You have choices. This could empower you to help yourself by accepting facts and reality.

But, first you have to face the fact of life that you see happening. Gaining weight? Accept that fact. Not getting on the scale won’t change that fact. It might help you to practice self-deception, but it won’t change what’s happening. And, it won’t build self-esteem.

Losing money on marketing ads? Look at the analytics and face what the numbers are showing you. Keep in mind that seeing that something isn’t working doesn’t mean that you have to abandon a goal. Using the marketing ads example, instead of no longer selling a product or service, you could reduce the amount of money you invest in those ads or you could try another marketing technique.

Awakening to Goodness

Should your awakening allow you to look at what’s going on in one or more of your relationships, consider your options. Instead of ending a relationship, you could try a different communication technique. Or, you could engage in deep conversation with the other person, offering them the safety of honestly telling you what’s working for them in the relationship as well as what they’d like to see change about the relationship.

Also, accept that you did not create yourself. Thoughts cannot change what you were created as. At your core, you’re good. Remember that as you have new experiences. Be patient with yourself, even should you get scared and become tempted to engage in self-deception. Face facts. Acknowledge what you see. Admit that you know what you know. Above all, continue to awaken.