Books do so much. They teach, inspire, motivate, educate and entertain. You can travel to other parts of the world, simply using your imagination, as you read travel books. This blog that is written largely by author Denise Turney has a wealth of material on the book industry. Whether you are an author yourself, an editor, publisher, freelance writer, content marketer or literary agent, there is something for you at this blog. Enjoy exploring the articles and learning from what is shared in the articles here.
Couple in Love with Bikes – Wikimedia Commons – Picture by Bill Branson
Feel that nudge in your heart? Maybe your core is telling you that it’s time to join in love again. But are you ready?
It’s easy to fall in love when you’re young. It’s easy to fall in love when you haven’t had your heart broken. But go through the heartache of divorce or even a non-marital breakup and you could become reluctant to enter a new romantic relationship.
And who could blame you? After all, you’re merely trying to protect yourself.
Give yourself chance to join in love again
Yet, self-protection has a cost. The highest cost is living with an invisible wall around your heart and your mind, a wall that no one can penetrate. If you’ve experienced this, you might feel alone, isolated or like no one understands you. In addition, you might start to believe that you’re simply not someone who will ever enjoy a loving, romantic relationship.
To enjoy a healthy relationship, make sure your inner being is healthy. Signs that you are inwardly healthy include:
Freedom from suspecting other people of doing wrong when there has been absolutely nothing done or said that would indicate that another person has intended to harm you
No interest in searching through your partner’s cell phone simply because you want to be certain that you’re not being cheated on (again when there has been no indication of infidelity)
Engaging in a variety of interest (e.g., sports, crafts, traveling)
Appreciation for the chance to experience new events, conversations, etc. with your partner and others
Lack of obsession
Strong family and friends support system
Connections with people who are positive and improving their lives
Taking full responsibility for yourself
Daily routines that encourage physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Examples include exercising, meditating, nature walks, keeping an appreciation journal, worship of the Creator and resting.
Acknowledge your self-worth
You’re right. It takes work to maintain good inner health, especially in this world where there are long work hours, financial challenges, family demands and harsh environmental shifts. Yet, it’s doable and so worth it.
In fact, just as you brush your teeth and shower or bathe every day, it takes daily actions to maintain inner health. You need good inner health to attract other people who are committed to being inwardly healthy. Simply reading self-help books isn’t enough. You and your partner need to take the right actions to enjoy inner health.
If this is
new to you, start by acknowledging your self-worth. Below are a few shortcuts
that could help you acknowledge your self-worth:
Engage in hobbies or work that you love. For me, that’s writing page turning novels! Oh, and I also love to interview artists on Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio
Remind yourself that other people’s opinions do not give you real worth
Try something new once a month. For example, you could drive a new way to or from work, go swimming if you haven’t been to a pool in years, ride a bike, travel someplace new or try a different food.
Be patient with yourself. You’re learning.
Recall past successes.
Remember that your worth is not tied to what you do, how much money you have, who you know, what you weigh or where you live.
Say “I love you” to that gorgeous person in the mirror!
You just might be ready to join in love again
Can you join in love again? Of course, you can. In fact, joining in love with someone who is ready to love you may get easier after you acknowledge your self-worth and get your inner self healthy.
To join in love again, you also need to open up to the idea of being in a romantic relationship. Turning away from loving people, doesn’t signal that you’re welcome to romantic love. After all, just as you don’t want to be rejected, the person who’d like to approach you, doesn’t want to be rejected either.
A final thought, you’re never going to know everything that’s going to happen to you in this world. And why would you want to? In fact, opening up to surprises is part of being in love. As you start to acknowledge your self-worth more, work on your inner health and take full responsibility for yourself, surprises may stop being viewed as risks to you.
They might become opportunities to grow, have fun, avoid boredom and stay engaged in the details of your life. Surprises also might serve as a pathway into deeper, richer, fuller love experiences that you treasure with your partner. So, like Raymond Clarke in Love Pour Over Me, you just might be ready to try romantic love again.
Chance to flourish in a healthy love relationship may be the top desire of every adult. Time, disappointment, aging communities and diverse solo social events don’t seem to be putting the brakes on this desire. In fact, the numbers of people searching for a romantic partner to enter a healthy relationship with may be growing, thanks for the Internet. For starters, Pew research reports that 15% of American adults have used a dating app.
Everyone’s Looking for Love – Who’s Finding Love
Percentages are higher for Americans who have never tied the knot. About 30% of American adults who have never been married have used a dating app. Gone are the days when an adult posting a dating ad in a newspaper or magazine is considered a “lonely heart” or as being “socially inept”. But finding someone to get involved with and enjoying a healthy relationship are not always the same.
So, how do you know if you’re in a healthy relationship? A good starting point may be to pay attention to how you feel when you speak to yourself. Pay attention to how you feel based on how you treat yourself. For example, do you feel anxious or peaceful when you highlight mistakes that you made?
Do you feel confident or cowardly when you encourage yourself or speak positive affirmations to yourself? If we’re created to experience joy, love and peace, then, that may well be the hallmark of a healthy relationship. Forget trying to dupe yourself. Go after what you were created to have. Consider flourishing with joy, love and peace to be key signs that you’re in a healthy relationship.
Honesty Is Pathway to Healthy Love Relationship
This means
that your partner and you actively help each other to experience joy, love and
peace. You make it a goal. It may take honesty to accept this, to allow
yourself to receive this trio of blessings. These three cannot be swapped out
for excitement, romance or sleeping all day. Your relationship either enriches
you with joy, love and peace or it doesn’t. No substituting.
More signs
that you’re in a healthy relationship include:
Accountability is clear and accepted – Both you and your partner take full responsibility for your thoughts, emotions and behavior. You don’t blame each other for how you feel, think or behave. If you want to end or start a new way of thinking or behaving, you hold yourself responsible for doing what it takes to achieve that. This includes lovingly dealing with sabotaging mental forecasting.
Change celebrations – You and your partner don’t run from change. You don’t curse the world when your routines change. Instead, you celebrate change, seeing it as another chance to awaken and grow.
Admit when you’re not happy – Even if you grew up in a home where you rarely saw your parents laughing or expressing peace and happiness, you and your partner are not afraid to admit when you’re not happy.
More Signs of a Healthy Love Relationship
Clear, honest communication – Communicating is not enough. If you’re in a healthy relationship, you and your partner are honest, open and clear while communicating. You don’t belittle each other. You don’t diminish each other to relatives or friends.
Ongoing work – Healthy relationships see couples continuing to learn. Both you and your partner refuse to believe that you “know it all”. You listen to one another. You keep paying attention and learning.
Common goals – Rather than strive to convince or sell your partner on a goal, you and your lover pursue common goals. Neither of you feels as if you’re constantly “giving in” or being forced to do what you don’t really want to do just to keep the other partner happy.
All shared, no healthy relationship sign tops love. This is also where things can get tricky, as each person may have a different perception of love. Start discovering what your would-be lover’s perception about love is early in the dating process. Hook up with someone who has a vastly different perception of love than you do and, despite how much energy or time you invest in the relationship, the road could long be rocky.
Healthy relationships, like the one shared in Love Pour Over Me may take time. The best intentions can see relationships experience highs and lows. The good news is that some couples, like the couple in Love Pour Over Me, are truly meant to be. Here’s to wishing that’s what you experience!
Self-help is an industry that pulls in billions. And where there’s billions of dollars, there could be a scam. Hallmark of a scam is a confidence trick. After all, if you don’t believe in an idea, product or service, you probably won’t try it. Every sales pro knows this. The first step to a sale requires gaining a buyer’s confidence or trust.
Gain trust is something people in the self-help industry do well. In fact, the industry pulls in loads of revenue. In fact, Market Research reports that, in the United States alone, the self-help industry was worth $9.9 billion in 2016.
Beautiful colorful bird – Wikimedia Commons – Picture by Andrew Mercer
Self Help Industry Facts
Self-help
products and services range from selfhelp books, life coaching, online self
improvement courses and weight loss programs. In 2016, motivational speakers
and personal or life coaches raked in $1 billion each. They were followed by
selfhelp books ($800 million) and audiobooks ($769 million).
Those numbers alone are enough to entice a person to enter the self-help industry, including people with good intentions. But does self-help work? Who’s measuring self-help products and services for effectiveness?
A scam doesn’t do what it builds your confidence to believe that it does.
Measuring Self Improvement Products and Services
Is it possible to measure whether reading a self-improvement book or using a self-help app played a pivotal role in helping someone to lose and keep weight off, move away from an addiction or sleep better long term? Perhaps, and more importantly, can a constant focus on self-help prove tiring.
Also, if self-improvement products and services work, why do the same people keep turning to more of the products and services? It’s like going to the same surgeon for a knee replacement ten times. In this case, could it be that the surgeon’s work isn’t effective?
Downsides of Self-Help
Lack of
effectiveness may be only one downside to self-help. Even more, it’s possible
to start to feel as if you’re always spotting faults in yourself. It can start
to feel as if you always need to “get better” or “be
better”.
When I look back on the years when I read dozens and dozens of self-help books (I used to almost always buy a self-help book when I went book shopping), I appreciate the fact that I finally realized that I could read all the self-help books in the world and still think that I was coming up short somewhere. That shared, I must say that I did move forward with my finances and mind stillness after reading and completing exercises in some of those self-help books.
For me, the downside came when I started to believe that I needed to read “one more” self-help book. It was as if I was trying to work my way to a point where I believed that there was no other improvement needed because I had become perfect.
What Are You Really Searching For
Finally, I
stopped buying self-improvement books in mass. Why? It had started to send the
message that there would always be something wrong with me. All I had to do was
“look”.
Will Storr shares in The New Yorker that, “People are suffering and dying under the torture of the fantasy self they’re failing to become.” Also, with self-help books, you’re often self-diagnosing. But what you think is your challenge may, in fact, only be a symptom.
And just how objective are you when it comes to eyeballing yourself? Even more, what are you really searching for when you reach for that next self-help book?
A Never Ending Journey
Change is inner work. But do you need to change, or do you just keep repeating that line to yourself? And if a self-help book, seminar or motivational speech doesn’t work, how will you know? After all, you could simply say that you’re the problem. You could just tell yourself that you just came up short again.
Perhaps, an answer is to allow your life to unfold all on its own. To accept that, regardless of what you do, think or read, you’re going to feel challenged, confused, certain, sad and happy from time to time. And that may not be because you’re flawed or because something is wrong with you.
Instead, you could be on a journey, a journey that calls for climbing at times, floating at times, resting, running, walking, stillness and movement. You could be on a journey that you can’t read your way through. In fact, you could be on a journey that you have no choice except to live through.
Winning podcasts are fun, educational and controversial. They are also growing. Featured show topics range from books, sports to politics, science, education, family and entertainment. Although they are taking off, managing a successful podcast takes planning, smart execution and targeted marketing. We’ve compiled seven must haves that can take your podcasts from average to winning. The first must have starts with your passion.
Podcasts and Passion – A Perfect Marriage
Dolly Parton, Jillian Michaels, Dr. Drew and Shaq are among the celebrities who have a podcast. Millions of people have seen these celebrities’ work. Yet, Dolly Parton, Jillian Michaels, Dr. Drew and Shaq don’t podcast about topics they know little about. Instead, they focus on their passions.
Off The Shelf Books Winning Podcasts
So, what are you passionate about? I love books and story. Therefore, it’s no surprise that my podcast features author interviews, book conferences, screenplay writers, poets, literary agents, editors and book publishers. See how I marry podcasts and passion by catching Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio.
Choosing a podcast that links to your passion is a huge time saver. You’ll know which guests to schedule, where to narrow your podcasts marketing and the types of questions to dig into during each episode. Even more, you could be viewed as an “expert” in your passion field, especially if your podcast takes off. Next, you’ll want to choose a quality podcast hosting platform.
Podcasts Hosting Companies That Score Big
Blubrry, Buzzsprout, PodBean, Castos, Simplecast and Audioboom are among the top podcasts hosting companies. Points to pay attention to when selecting a hosting company include monthly storage limits, pricing, advertising, community and marketing tools that each company offers.
For example,
SoundCloud’s monthly storage limits start at 3 hours and goes up to unlimited.
Pricing is comparable to the podcast’s storage needs. Require more storage,
prepare to pay a higher monthly hosting service fee.
Additionally, some hosting companies share ad revenue with their podcasters. Blog Talk Radio does this. But Blog Talk Radio has a telephone dial in feature that some podcasters and listeners aren’t crazy about. Which brings up the third winning podcast “must have”.
Connection Options
Returning to Blog Talk Radio, there is an option to listen to their radio podcasts thru a chat room. Skype is another way to catch a Blog Talk Radio Show (more about Skype later in this article). iTunes, a Bluetooth connection, the Alexa app, Skype and Zoom are tools to record and/or listen to podcasts on.
Each comes with pros and cons. For this reason, when choosing a podcast hosting company and a tool to record podcast episodes, pay attention to sound quality. If you want to experience a visual connection with your podcast’s guests, consider Zoom.
Depending on your recording experience, you could use your smartphone to record podcast episodes. Before you choose this option, check your phone’s sound quality. Also, ensure that sound doesn’t breakup or go in and out.
Make It Easy for Listeners to Love Your Winning Podcasts
For starters, great sound quality is a way to make it easy for listeners to love your podcast. Additionally, host and guest’s preparation, choice of questions and consistency are the next winning podcast must haves that can set your show apart.
Do yourself a favor and choose engaging guests. People in your passion field who have knocked out online radio interviews before can help turn an episode into a slam dunk. But even if you go with inexperienced or shy guests, your show can leave a good impression on its listeners.
To achieve this, research guests a week or more prior to their interview. Also, ask questions that require wordy answers. For example, questions like “Do you like to read family sagas?” “Is hockey your favorite sport?” and “Were you a history major?” make it easy for guests to give one-word answers.
This isn’t what you want. Therefore, “Do you like to read family sagas?” could become “How did you develop Tammy Tilson, the family matriarch, in Spiral?”
Turn Podcasts Guests into Fans
Following up on this, develop enough questions to keep the show flowing. On Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio, I create at least 30 questions for each guest. Often, I don’t get to each question. But having 30 questions to ask each guest keeps the show from experiencing lulls.
It also helps guests to relax and enjoy the show as it unfolds. To keep listeners coming back, be consistent. For example, you could schedule a podcast episode for each Saturday morning. Just pick the same time (e.g., 11am/EST) to air your podcast.
Consistency cannot be over stressed. Be there when your guests and listeners are. Last, market your podcast.
Spread the Word About Your Winning Podcasts
Social media, press releases and offline radio, television and print interviews are a few places where you can market and advertise your podcast. If you have a YouTube channel, consider marketing your podcast there too.
In addition, you could market your podcast at your blog, at podcasts directories and by leaving bookmarks, postcards and flyers at places that your target audience frequents. Also, ask your guests to tell their supporters about your podcast and their feature interview.
Content marketing platforms like Taboola, Outbrain, StoryChief and Newscred are other places where you could market your podcast. As with other marketing platforms, pay attention to pricing and service range and depth.
In closing, podcasts popularity is backed by strong numbers. According to Music MPH, 150 million people in the United States have tuned into a podcast. About 150 million Americans listen to a podcast at least once a month. Nearly 103 million people tune into a podcast each week. Listener range crosses at least 100 languages, making podcasting an effective marketing tool.
Connecting writers and book readers is truly an art. After years of writing, publishing, marketing and selling books, I have learned effective strategies to increase book sales. I am going to share several of these winning book marketing strategies with you in this Chistell.com blog post.
Chistell Publishing Writers and Book Readers Website
These strategies don’t involve spending more ad money. Even more, these
book marketing tips aren’t about living on the road with boxes of books stuffed
in your car trunk.
Smart Connections with Book Lovers Isn’t Pricey
Howbeit, attending book festivals and the right literary events helps when it comes to connecting with book readers. (Keep reading to find out how attending large scale book events makes its way onto the 10 best ways that writers and book readers make smart connections.)
Several of the strategies won’t cost you a dime. Also, depending on your existing support system, you might not have to implement all of the strategies to start seeing an increase in sales. However, what you will have to do is to be serious, and I do mean serious, about staying with the book marketing process long term.
Additionally, you will have to engage in at least two of these 10 actions. Let’s begin.
First of the 10 Best Ways Writers and Book Readers Make Smart Connections
This first strategy will get you out of the house. Added to selling books is the rewarding chance to network and meet authors, the very people who can tell you about more effective ways to increase book sales.
Attend book festivals, large scale events. But don’t just go to any book event. Research festivals, conferences and book fairs. Find out how many attendees are expected at the events. If these numbers aren’t posted at the event website, email the event organizers and ask them to share this information.
After all, the last thing you want to do is to pay a registration fee for an author’s table at book festivals that only attract 20 readers. Also, check event websites (or contact the event organizer) to see if you can participate in radio, television and online promotions organizers run.
Organizers offer these services at competitive prices to help cover the cost of running book fairs. Before you sign up for the fairs, make sure the registration fee is competitive enough to allow you to generate a profit. Book fairs that attract 10,000 or more book buyers could make it easy to sell 60 or more books. If you’re out-of-pocket costs is $250 or less, you could easily earn a profit.
More Ways Writers and Book Readers Connect
Start your own book festival. Consider requiring attendees to register for the event in advance. This way, you will know how many people are planning to attend. Use this data in press releases, announcements, social media posts, flyers, direct mail and on postcards.
But don’t go it alone. Network with other writers who run book festivals. You might be surprised how many writers organize events. Connect with these authors and get tips on ways to gain sponsors and local media coverage.
Apply for awards. I’m seeing more book awards shows. These awards shows are similar to popular music and film awards shows. Similarly, book awards shows can bring you lots of exposure and help you make smart connections.
Engaging Book Clubs and More
As a fourth tip, reach out to book clubs. Choose book clubs that read the types of books you write. Please pay attention to that. Don’t try to force a connection. Make it easy on yourself and reach out to book clubs that align with books you write.
In other words, you won’t have to convince these book club members to want to read your books. All you should have to do is introduce your books to the club members.
Here are six more ways that writers and book readers make smart connections:
Create and send colorful, attention-grabbing postcards to local media, book club presidents and book bloggers.
Follow these postcards up with direct email
A week later send recipients a snail mail
Post flyers about your book on college campuses, local libraries, etc. Request approval from administrators before hanging the flyers
Inside direct mail, include short overviews of your books, your bio and the benefits that the organizations and their readers or listeners can gain from reading your books.
Shorten the time it takes to generate direct email messages by signing up with email marketing platforms (e.g., Constant Contact, MailChimp)
Final Four Ways to Connect with Avid Readers
Throughout the year, schedule radio interviews. Thanks to online radio stations and podcasts, this should be easy. As a tip, you can find radio stations and podcasts to interview on by following media influencers on LinkedIn, Twitter and other social media platforms.
Focus on being on the radio or on a podcast at least once a week. You could even start your own podcast like I did. Check out Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio. In fact, depending on the types of books you write, you could gain a feature Off The Shelf Books Talk Radio interview. Listen to the show. See if there’s a fit.
Off The Shelf Book Podcast
If there is a fit, contact me through the show.
To connect with readers and gain more book sales, also attend networking events. Stay local and you could reduce your out-of-pocket traveling expenses.
These networking events are different from book festivals. Examples include chamber of commerce awards luncheons, arts workshops, professional meetups and business startup discussions.
Exchange business cards with people who attend these networking events. Who knows, some attendees might help you get into large corporations they work at, which leads to the next tip to get more book sales. Depending on your book’s topic, you could speak at large corporations, sharing insights and research findings with corporate employee networks, etc. Should this happen, conduct book signings at the end of these speaking engagements.
You Can Get More Book Sales
Run a writing contest. You could also run a Q&A contest that
focuses on one of your books. As a prize, you could give winners a collection
of your books and/or a bookstore gift card.
Additionally, blog about your books. This isn’t a one and done. Be dedicated. This means, that you’ll publish a new blog post at least once a week, once a month at the absolute minimum. Write naturally and use a SEO plug-in to improve search engine rankings.
Furthermore, consider using tools like Google Analytics to track the effectiveness of your blog posts. In relation to this, regularly update your website content, including website meta tags.
Love Pour Over Me in book library
Also, reach out to other bloggers. Make sure they blog about the types of books you write. Ask to be interviewed or featured at these book blogs.
Tips to Get More Book Buyer Connections
Just for fun, here are even more ways writers and book readers start smart connections. Set up automatic social media posts. I’ve actually met media professionals this way and gotten published in major newspapers and magazines.
But don’t just publish auto messages to social media platforms. Actually, log into social media platforms and ask questions, post motivational quotes and info about your books. Also, respond to messages that other posters share. Please don’t just take or only advertise your books. After all, you’re trying to make smart connections.
To grow your readership, write and publish new books. As simple as it may sound, this is one of the best ways that I have found to increase book sales. However, make sure that you write your best book. Great books can create surprising word-of-mouth sales.
Let’s Talk Amazon and Barnes & Noble Book Retailers
Update your Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble book descriptions. Over the course of a year, I might revise my book descriptions three to four times. Add keywords that readers use to search for the types of books you write. Also, link your book blog to your Amazon Author Central page. You could also run book Amazon ads. If you do, track the results and make changes as needed. Start small and update keywords that you use in the ads. Keep tracking results.
Additionally, create profiles at popular book websites like Good Reads, CushCity and iTunes. Familiarize yourself with book distributions (e.g., Ingram, Baker & Taylor) and see if they are running book promotions you can participate in.
There are lots of actions you can take to increase your book sales. But these book marketing strategies have actually worked for me, which is why I am sharing them with you. These aren’t strategies that I just read about. These are book marketing strategies I have tried and gained results from.
One final note, the path to more book sales sounds simple. Just start selling more books by making smart reader connections. Yet, as simple as it sounds, it can take months to find and connect with your book’s perfect readers. The above book marketing tips shared in this post can save you years of trial and error.
Ability to talk to the dead is available to anyone. In fact, it might be impossible to avoid hearing from a loved one who is no longer in a body if you had an especially close connection with that person. But how do you communicate with the deceased? Is there anything special that you have to do?
Roses by Gravesite of the Dead – Wikimedia Commons, Picture by Samuriah
Let me start this blog post by sharing that I do not believe in death. To me, death is an illusion. But something clearly happens when we exit our bodies. That change seems to make it impossible to reach across the aisle and connect.
Expanding Communication Pathways
Centuries
ago, we thought that about space and distance. If someone traveled to another
continent, it was as if they were “gone”. Think about it, the
telegraph was invented by Samuel Morse in 1837. Additionally, mail systems may
have started during the Zia or Shang dynasties, as far back as 2070 BC.
Before then, when someone moved to another country, or worse, another continent, it was as if they had disappeared forever. After all, there seemed to be no other way to communicate with the person who was “out of sight” and space, far far away.
Today, technology has erased those impossibilities. But could we have found ways to communicate with those who seemed so far away (and still in their bodies) prior to the launch of the telegraph, mail systems, the Internet, face time and instant messaging?
And could it be possible to talk to the dead in ways that many are not aware of? As with the invention of advanced technological communication tools, those communication pathways may be most open if you live with an open, flexible mind.
Is a Departed Loved One Communicating
Now, to the signs that a “dead” person is trying to communicate with you. For starters, electrical appliances might go nuts, blinking or blaring if a departed loved one communicates with you. Lights might turn off and on. Familiar scents that are associated with the loved one who is no longer in their body might fill a room.
Also, people who don’t know the deceased might say the person’s name. For example, while I was on a train heading home from work, a group of kids outside a hospital shouted my departed son’s name over and over, about 12 to 15 times. It was as if the kids were making a song of his name, not as if they were calling out to a friend.
Even more, a stranger might tell you something that is directly related to your loved one who is no longer in their body, something that the stranger clearly does not know. For example, when I was preparing to move to a new city, I spoke with a representative at a moving company.
Coming Through an Open Pathway
The very first time that I spoke with someone at the moving company, the representative who answered the phone asked, “Is this the Denise who recently lost her brother or dog?” It was an out-of-the-blue question, totally unrelated to the move.
I had never spoken with the representative before, didn’t know the guy at all. I had never told anyone at the company that my son had transitioned. A moment later after I didn’t respond, the guy said, “Guess I had the wrong Denise.”
Dreams are open pathways through which you can communicate with a departed loved one, so pay attention to your dreams. But as with any circumstance, don’t become obsessed. Your life here matters, and it’s important that you live it fully. Strong emotion while in a certain location, intuitive direction and inner guidance are other ways to communicate.
How to Talk to the Dead
As with any other inner communication, you may have to take action to receive the full communication. For example, you might receive a message to go get your loved one’s picture. After you get the picture, your loved one might tell you that she’s right there next to you.
Also, you might be asked to turn on a certain television show. After you turn on the television show, you hear someone on the show ask, “If your loved one spoke with you, what would he tell you right now?” Another person on the television show might respond, “He would tell me that he’s still here, with me right now.”
The good news is that it is not necessary to pay a medium to talk to the dead. In fact, the best mediums will encourage you to communicate with your loved one on your own. Keeping an open mind may be the best way to talk to the dead.
This cannot be overstated. If you are dealing with grief, a process that could continue for the remainder of your physical expression, you may keep the lines of communication between you and your departed loved one going by writing or typing letters to your loved one.
Dealing With Grief
Despite your
doubts, you might be surprised how healing writing your loved one letters can
be. Another thing that might help you, is accepting communication signs from
the dead without criticism or judgment.
As you continue your journey, love yourself. Be patient with yourself. Be very, very patient with yourself. Also, allow yourself to experience peace and joy. Let yourself feel the emotion of happiness.
As someone who has had both of her parents to transition, all of her grandparents and my son transition – I know that the first days, weeks and months after a loved one departs their body can be near impossible to get through.
Shock, sorrow, guilt, regret and intense sadness can feel overwhelming. The first few days, it may be hard if not impossible to relax, let alone sleep at night. That could go on for weeks. You might start crying, like I did, while shopping for shoes, buying groceries or driving your car.
These people might lash out should you continue to grieve longer than they think you should. Some people might ask you to stop talking about your loved one, forcing you to not even speak the person’s name. My guess is that speaking a “dead” person’s name makes some people uncomfortable. Their demanding that you not mention the person could be a form of control, an unhealthy strategy they use to avoid feeling strong emotions.
Regardless
of what others say or do, love yourself. Do what is best and most loving for
you. This includes accepting communications that your departed loved one has
with you.
Also, commit to moving forward. Remember that you are not ending communications with your loved one who is no longer in a body, especially if you talk to the “dead”. You are simply moving through the shift so that you can continue your physical expression in healthy ways knowing that one day, you too, will become one of those “dead people”.
Use Arts to Talk to the Dead
Are you a
painter? Are you a writer? Do you love to sing? How about crafts? Do you love
to knit, sew or crochet?
As you
continue your journey, consider painting to express emotions that you are
experiencing. You could also write songs about your departed loved one. A few
months after my son transitioned, I started writing on a novel, a super hero
story, with my son as the main character.
Writing on
that story, is tremendously healing for me. Regarding self discovery, you might
find that incorporating memories of your loved one in your creative arts could
prove healing and transforming.
Love Yourself
Some artists
paint amazing portraits of their loved ones. Singers have written, sang and
produced songs in honor of a departed loved one. There are many ways to marry
memory, love and art. Even more, don’t be surprised if your loved one starts to
guide these creative works.
As a final word, in addition to being patient with yourself as you go through this journey, love yourself. And I do mean, love yourself. Really really love yourself.
This
includes, seeking professional help should you feel stuck or drifting toward
self harm. Suicide isn’t the only form of self harm. Over eating, drinking too
much alcohol and abusing yourself with drugs, including prescription drugs, are
other forms of self harm.
Accept Support
Talk with a friend you know you can trust. Join an online and/or offline support group. I am a member of an online support group for grieving mothers. Hearing other mothers share their stories is beyond helpful, beyond strengthening and supportive.
Give this love to yourself. Just give yourself love. Give love. Receive love. And stay open to those loving communications that come from your departed loved ones.
Spiral is a book that deals with receiving communication from the dead. It is a fictional mystery that needs someone (not a professional medium) who can talk to the dead to solve a crime. It is my hope that Spiral will help you as you work through dealing with a loved one’s transition, especially if the transition was traumatic.
More importantly, I hope that Spiral will stir your courage, inspiring you to take the right action to protect anyone who is being traumatized, forced into departing their body. Spiral and resources shared in this article might help you to overcome fear and continue your journey in healthy ways. You also might accept communication that you receive from an eternal loved one who is no longer in a body. I wish you well.
By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney
Do you know what one of the hardest parts of death is? You know, you absolutely know, that you cannot go back and change a single thing.
Love Pour Over Me Book Cover Graphic
If you’re reading this, you might be nodding in agreement at that point, especially if you recently experienced the death of someone dear to you. In fact, desire to say or do something different as it regards that loved one might be disrupting your peace.
Living Free of Past Painful Childhood Illusions
But here’s the thing. It may be an illusion that you can change a single iota of the past just because you’re still breathing, even events from a painful childhood. Ever. The past really is done. It’s over. It passes moment by moment . . . day by day.
With that truth in mind, how would you change your life right now? How would you relate to the person you’re avoiding, the person whose opinion you value so much it hurts each time you imagine that they disapprove of you? Which ways would you treat a colleague, in-law, neighbor, blood relative or former friend if you knew that nothing you say or do can ever be erased?
Would you continue plotting how you’re going to get even with your spouse or beau because they forgot your birthday, took credit for work you did or wouldn’t back down during an argument? If possible, would you tell your child how much she irritates or frustrates you again? And would you remain committed to hardening your heart?
Choose this and you’ll be choosing to drag unforgiveness, not to mention unresolved trauma, around. Why would you choose to do this?
Signs That You’re Stuck in a Painful Childhood
As it regards a painful childhood, if you could, how would you change your present life? What behavior and thought patterns would you change now? How would you create a better past for yourself, a past you would always be at peace recalling?
If you’re stuck in the past, you may need to work with a professional or practice intentional self-care to break free. Types of past events that you could be hooked on include the death of a parent, a romantic relationship breakup, a job layoff or a natural disaster that destroyed your home.
Signs that you’re living in a past that’s rooted in a painful childhood include:
Clinging to people or objects (hoarding)
Irrational fears
Emotional outbursts
Difficulty feeling or expressing healthy emotion
Inability to form close, enriching relationships may be another sign that you’re dragging a regrettable past experience around in your psyche.
It’s time to stop. Dragging the past around comes at a high price. It works like a contaminant that erodes present-day encounters. To say it’s a joy and peace thief is an understatement.
Choosing Life
If you’re afraid and don’t want to examine a regrettable past firsthand, empower yourself by taking a peek at someone else’s life. Get an account of the depth of damage continuing to live in the past causes. You’re probably already doing this, sizing up the impact of your parents’, grandparents’, church members’ and friends’ choices.
It’s easy to see where these people went wrong. But being a spectator leaves you on the sidelines, keeps you from moving forward. Raymond Clarke learns this lesson the hard way in Love Pour Over Me. All he can see are his father’s and his mother’s awful mistakes, how they hurt him, how they set him up for a hard life.
Stop Running from the Past
Then, Raymond decides to run as far away from his past as possible. If you’re running from your past, you’re probably wondering how it’ll work out. You’re probably wondering if it’s truly possible to run far enough away from old memories and old feelings to live free of a painful childhood.
For Raymond, freedom doesn’t come until he revisits the past in an honest, healthy way. Are you ready to go back? Are you ready to revisit the hard spots in your life that are arresting your development? Give yourself the chance to learn how to truly break free of the past and accept real love right now.
Road to Freedom
Ways to get free start with acknowledging that you’re living in the past. Other actions toward freedom include:
Journaling about past experiences that stir up anger, fear and sorrow
Writing down your dreams and seeing if they offer guidance toward freedom
Forgiving people who mistreated you
Working with a reputable, experienced and licensed professional
Looking out for yourself from this day forward
Trusting yourself and taking new, loving chances
Prove you love yourself the way you wish others had proven that they loved you. After all, you’re in the driver seat now. Treat yourself good.
Book readers need three things when dealing with book writers. Relationships are at the core of each of these three things. As a book writer, if you fail to give book readers these three things, you could fail to gain book sales, disappoint book readers or even lose existing book sales. James Baldwin, J. K. Rowling, John Irvin, Toni Morrison, Jane Austen, August Wilson and Lorraine Hansberry are a few authors who understand the importance of two of these three musts.
Book readers want challenging relationships
To grow your career as a new author, you need to get these three things down early. As a new book author, you need to develop characters that make it easy for book readers to feel like they are in real relationships with their fictional characters. You might not love the storyline. But, if you read Lord of the Rings, you probably couldn’t forget Frodo Baggins, Gandalf or Gollum.
Not a Lord of the Rings fan? Think about your favorite novels. Next, think about one or more characters in those novels that you feel deeply connected to, that you care about. How easy was it to put that novel down, turning away from a character who left a deep impression on you?
Focus on character development
Focus on character development; it’s at the heart of what talented authors do. It’s also why talented novelists keep their characters in periods of uncertainty, cliff hangers, conflict and challenge. Even flawed novel characters have at least one trait that you, the book reader, judge as positive or valuable.
Who can forget Dr. Hyde, Mrs. Henry Lafayette Duobse in To Kill a Mockingbird or the money grubbing businessman in Spiral? Bad characters fuel Tyler Perry’s latest television series, shows like The Haves and Have Nots. Without characters who are struggling with darkness books like Harry Potter, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings might not have intrigued millions of readers.
These inner struggles may remind of us hidden parts of ourselves, parts we long to deny. What is certain is that flawed characters demand our attention. After you start to care about a character, it’s hard to not care what happens to that character. Discovering what happens to a character requires that you keep reading, keep turning pages in a book. Even more, building a book readership demands that you give readers the types of relationships with novel characters that readers not only care about, but relationships that readers will feel, almost as if the fictional encounters are real.
Major characters relating to minor characters
In addition to feeling connected to one or more characters in a novel, book readers want to find value in observing, watching or witnessing exchanges that occur between a main character and minor characters in a novel. It’s a fact. There’s an element of voyeurism in fictional story digesting.
Book readers want to watch their favorite novel characters interact with other characters. After all, it’s those relationships that drive the story. Rarely is it the case that a story’s setting works like a character. Fictional stories where this happened include Castaway, On Golden Pond and Wind River.
J. California Cooper, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Joyce Carol Oates, Alice Walker and Gloria Naylor are among the novelists who are highly skilled at character interaction. These skilled authors make developing great character interactions look easy.
Third thing book readers love
The third element that book readers need to love a story and a novelist’s work might surprise you. Book readers want to enjoy a rewarding relationship with a novel’s author. An author’s relationship with book readers could come through book signings, book readings, cultural festivals that authors serve as panelists or keynote speakers at.
Direct email, holiday greetings, free new book excerpts and question and answer sessions at the end of speaking engagements or radio interviews are other avenues through which an author’s relationship with book readers could develop. These aren’t personal relationships.
Instead, they are artistic relationships that focus on art that writers create. Rewards of these boo reader relationships include the chance for authors to let book readers know what drives a character or why the author had a character perform a specific act.
If book readers and authors do connect during events like book club meetings, book conferences and book signings, readers could gain a fourth relationship. Readers could meet and start friendships with other book lovers.
Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.
Love Pour Over Me is a book that takes a realistic look at a complicated parent/child relationship. When I first started writing Love Pour Over Me, it was emotionally easy. As I fleshed Malcolm and Raymond out more, it got harder to keep writing at the same fast pace that I had started writing the novel with.
Why? Memories from my own childhood were starting to arise, muddying the process involved in getting the first full draft of the story on paper.
Love Pour Over Me was not an easy book to write
As with each book that I have written, including Portia, Spiral, Long Walk Up, Rosetta’s Great Adventure and Love Has Many Faces, bits and pieces of my own history were finding their way into the pages of Love Pour Over Me. Believe it or not, this fact is what makes writing books a boundless blessing.
Once a story dredges up deep emotion in me as an author, I have no choice except to revisit my own unique, personal “real life” past and deal with the emotional root. Authors who do this work can finally go free of personal thought and behavior patterns that may have plagued them for years.
Another blessing that strong emotions offer me as an author is directly related to the novel. Strong emotions that I feel easily transfer to the page. It’s this emotion that connects readers to characters.
For me, this is when I absolutely love creating novels.
Adult problems with trying to understand a mysterious childhood
Although I didn’t grow up with an alcoholic parent like Raymond (Love Pour Over Me’s main character), as with many people, I saw my fair share of struggles as a kid. I tried to understand unclear and hard-to-explain events that were happening around me; like you did when you were a kid, I tried to explain the hard-to-explain through the eyes of a very young child.
It’s these attempts to explain the mysterious that can cause childhood and adult confusion. Add the drive to be right and it’s easy to see why people like Raymond Clarke get stuck. The thing is that Raymond is not alone. He’s not the only person who develops defense systems to avoid future hurts. He’s not the only one who keeps expecting childhood survival strategies to work effectively after he becomes an adult.
Here are the seven great reasons to read the Love Pour Over Me book
If you’ve even once struggled to make sense of your life, especially your childhood, you might get more than you’d imagine from reading Love Pour Over Me. You might see the value in taking the time to do the personal, inner work to finally move forward. Additionally, you might fall in love with Raymond, Brenda, Anthony and other characters in Love Pour Over Me. You might get lost in a very good book.
That alone would be worth reading the nearly 300 page novel that is Love Pour Over Me. Six more reasons to read the Love Pour Over Me book are:
Authentic friendships – After he arrives to college in Philadelphia, Raymond runs into four men, each hailing from a different part of America or the world. These men become fast friends, developing a bond that celebrity, money, women nor disappointments or secrets can break.
Inspiration – Whether you’re reading about Raymond’s childhood and watching a young Raymond interact with his troubled father, Malcolm, or you’re watching Raymond desperately try to keep his heart from Brenda, you may be inspired as you turn the pages of Love Pour Over Me.
Passions on display – Short term relationships aren’t the only starring connects in Love Pour Over Me. Raymond and Brenda’s tested romance also isn’t the only “true gem” relationship that survives this book’s shaking challenges.
Remarkable success – Raymond is one of America’s top middle distance runners. His is a near matchless athletic talent. But, Raymond’s not alone when it comes to uncommon athletic prowess. Anthony more than holds his own on the football field.
Murder mystery – He never asked for it. And yet, Raymond becomes witness to a murder. He also never asked to be closely connected to someone who may have committed the killing.
Changed lives – If our lives don’t change, what’s the purpose of contrast? You’ll be surprised at the Raymond who you see at the end of Love Pour Over Me. You might also finally learn to love Raymond’s father, Malcolm.
Give yourself a chance to explore, enjoy and benefit from reading the Love Pour Over Me book
Love Pour Over Me is a novel that recounts Raymond Clarke’s life events. Set in Dayton, Ohio and later Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, a portion of Love Pour Over Me takes place in Africa, namely Madagascar. The 1980s is the time period that the story unfolds in. Think the Los Angeles Lakers, smooth R&B cuts, a non-Internet world (can you imagine?!), closer knit neighborhoods, thriving community bookstores, gas prices being at about $1 a gallon, music videos airing all day and the rise of cable television.
You may have been a young adult, teen, child or not yet born then. As you read Love Pour Over Me, you’ll get to explore a time that saw many inventions and challenges. Most of all, you’ll get to witness the evolution of a man. You’ll get the chance to witness the evolution of a family, five friends and a soul mate couple who, despite their hard setbacks, simply belong together (You’ll know this for certain by the time you reach the last page of the Love Pour Over Me book!) As tough as it was to write at times, I loved creating the book that is Love Pour Over Me. Now I want you to enjoy reading it.
Ready to enjoy a good book? Pick up your copy of Love Pour Over Me in print or ebook form at Amazon.com by clicking – Read Love Pour Over Me
Social media networks aren’t the only places book authors can spread the word about their works to sell books. Radio, another effective marketing tool, is another way authors can exposure and sell books. However, gaining the most out of radio takes a bit of practice. The way authors approach radio station owners and DJs also makes a difference.
Book authors landing radio interviews to sell books
To schedule radio station interviews, visit the station’s website. Get the name of the DJ you want to be interviewed by. When you email the station, address your correspondence to this DJ by name. Highlight your book’s benefits, what readers will gain (i.e. new ways to avoid high blood pressure, how to graduate from college without creating student loan debt) from reading your book. It’s this you want to focus on during your interview.
Create a list of questions for interviewers to ask you. In addition to saving interviewers’ time (trust me, most interviewers will really appreciate this), this step can help the focus of the interview remain on topics you want to cover. Although there’s no guarantee that the interviewer will ask questions you send her, it certainly doesn’t hurt.
Getting the most out of book radio interviews
If this is your first time conducting a radio interview as a book author, practice interviewing with a relative or friend. Relax. During practice sessions, work to engage potential listeners. Avoid trying to directly sell books during the actual interview. Instead, focus on sharing valuable information with listeners.
Tell your family, friends, colleagues and book supporters about your interview. This is a great time to use radio marketing to sell books. Post information (i.e. date, time, location) about your radio interview at social media networks. To get more exposure, create and send a press release about the interview. The more people who tune into your radio interview, the better. More listeners can make it a lot easier to sell books while you’re on the radio. Also, get enough listeners, and you might be asked back.
On the day of the actual interview, arrive 10 to 15 minutes early, 5 minutes may be enough for online radio interviews. If you’re not certain how early to show up, ask the interviewer. Dress comfortably but professionally. Again, relax. Have fun.
More tips on how you can market and sell books and products via the radio are at our chistell.com YouTube channel. Please share your comments about the session as well as your experiences marketing via the radio in our YouTube channel comments section!
Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in my new book, Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com, or any other online or offline bookseller and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.
