By Fiction and Nonfiction Author Denise Turney

People living with a belief in innocence may find it easier to trust than people who have experienced trauma, betrayed trust or a string of disappointments. In part, this may be because people who have lived in an environment of collaboration, honest communication and cooperation have had proof that there are people in the world who they can depend on and trust.

These Experiences Build and Deepen Trust

Types of experiences that build and deepen trust always include honesty. You might not be told all the details related to a project, meeting, etc. But what is shared with you will be the truth. Furthermore, details that might be withheld won’t be withheld to use as leverage or to manipulate you.

A good example of this is when you tell a child that you’re driving to the beach on tomorrow to enjoy the day if it doesn’t rain. You might not tell the child how long the trip will take, which road you’ll be driving down or when you plan to stop to fuel up your vehicle.

If it doesn’t rain and you do, in fact, drive to the beach with the child and have loads of fun enjoying the ocean, warm sunshine and sand, you could build trust between the child and you. Do the opposite and the results could be devastating, especially if you make breaking promises a habit.

Why Courage Counts More Than You Might Realize

Now, imagine that you’ve put your trust in someone only to be disappointed. Even if you don’t want to doubt people, you could start to find it hard to trust. Not only could you find it hard to trust the person who broke her promise to you, over time, you could find it challenging to trust anyone.

As hard as this outcome is, it could be even more painful to use courage and invest trust in someone who betrayed your trust only to have this person fail to deliver on a promise again. However, it doesn’t have to end there. In fact, what if you could help restore betrayed trust?

For instance, what would you do if for vacation you drove to an area with miles of open land, a wide countryside, and, while on vacation, you happened upon a young man who clearly was distressed? Once you confirmed that the guy was clear of bad intentions, would you help him?

Or would you turn away from courage and leave the distressed man on his own? What would you do if you took this latter option and a day later read in the newspaper that the guy perished?

Are You a Bridge?

Whether you realize it or not, you might have countless opportunities to build and deepen trust. One way that you could do this is to gain firsthand experiences that require you to exercise courage by giving yourself the chance to trust another person.

Another way that you could do this is to help another person restore their betrayed trust. Back to the parenting example, if someone has repeatedly betrayed your child’s trust, you could be a bridge between your child and that person. That way your child wouldn’t have to deal with the person directly, potentially reducing or eliminating future harm.

Secondly, you could create more opportunities to build your child’s trust. Revisiting the beach example, you could spend an uninterrupted hour three days a week with your child engaging in loving, safe activities. Do this and you’d be keeping promises and demonstrating that exhibiting the courage to trust another person is not bad or unintelligent.

Help restore betrayed trust and you could be doing a great work. Don’t think so?

Will You Restore Betrayed Trust?

Consider the times when you lost trust in someone. Simply recalling how it felt to be disappointed and discouraged may be enough to see how powerful restoring someone’s trust is. To help restore trust, you might have to practice awareness.

In other words, you might have to look beyond the surface. Instead of seeing someone as being needy, afraid or aloof, you might be advantaged if you start to consider why and how the person became the way that he is. If you consider that the person might have had his trust betrayed numerous times, you could see a seemingly “inconvenience” (a person asking for help, a runaway hiding in your garage, etc.) as a great opportunity to restore betrayed trust.

It takes Clarissa (Escaping Toward Freedom) time to get here, to realize what’s in front of her. Yet, she does learn. Healing one another requires awareness and the willingness to restore betrayed trust with love, courage and patience. Look around. There are so many safe opportunities to restore betrayed trust.