By Books Writer Denise Turney
Fathers raising children as single parents was nearly unheard of 50 years ago. I can still hear my father express how he wished there was someone he could talk with about raising daughters as a single parent. But there was no one he knew who could offer him guidance. So, my father turned to my aunts and grandmother, resources who, thankfully, turned out to be very good ones.
Fathers Raising Children as Single Parents
The thing is that since 1960, the numbers of fathers raising children as single parents has increased. According to the Pew Research Center, the numbers have increased nine-fold since 1960. As of 2011, 2.6 million households were led by single fathers.
Many of these single fathers live with someone. For example, these dads may have remarried or be living with a partner who they aren’t married to. On the other hand, about 52% of fathers raising children as single parents are divorced, widowed, not living with a partner or men who never married.
Also, becoming a single father happens to men as early as the teenage years. Additionally, fathers who are raising kids alone have a broad range of educational levels, from less than a high school diploma to a postgraduate degree.
Raising Children Alone
Fortunately, changing perceptions of what it takes to raise healthy children has removed some of the shock and lack of acceptance around fathers raising kids alone. Although raising kids alone offers challenges for both men and women, children raised by loving and caring men who are single parents may best know the value that these single parents offer.
My father had a positive influence on me and my siblings. Our mother passing was his doorway into single parenthood. Despite pleas from other relatives, my father would not break us up, choosing the single parent route instead.
His courage, insight, guidance, leadership, active listening skills and business savvy were contagious. There were times when I swore that my dad was born for parenting. Looking back, I can see how his parents’ love, support, care and guidance had helped to prepare him for raising sons alone as well as raising daughters by himself.
Love of a Single Father
In spite of long odds, my father didn’t lose one child. Each of his children grew into a responsible, caring, giving and courageous adult. To this day, I wonder if I could have accomplished what he did while raising five children alone.
And again, his success as a single parent was, in large part, due to how he was raised. In fact, it’s easy to see the influence prior generations have on single parents. After all, we often repeat what was done to us until we forgive the past, let go, and change our thinking, choices and behavior.
When Parenting Gets Hard
This is part of what’s illustrated in Love Pour Over Me, a book that spotlights the effects of raising a son alone when you’re not ready to parent. Adult children and older teens who grew up in families where single parents struggled may especially find strength, hope and healing while reading Love Pour Over Me.
After all, even if single parent fathers did receive an upbringing that prepared them to effectively operate a household, there are challenges. One parent can’t be everything to a child. Even with the best intentions, mistakes happen. Parents get tired. Life happens.
Love Pour Over Me
Love Pour Over Me is a book that follows a young man from high school well into adulthood, showing how, despite deep pain brought on from growing up under the guidance of a struggling father, it’s possible to keep progressing. Even more, Love Pour Over Me shows that it’s possible to grow in love with a soul mate after enduring an emotionally and physically hard childhood.
Yet, above all of these rewards, it’s witnessing the evolvement of the father’s and son’s relationship as the story unfolds that may indeed offer readers the most healing. After all, single fathers love their children deeply. They love their children even if they’re struggling with a personal issue which is why these fathers seek out and accept help.