{"id":90,"date":"2012-07-21T20:04:45","date_gmt":"2012-07-22T00:04:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/?p=90"},"modified":"2016-10-08T23:59:11","modified_gmt":"2016-10-09T03:59:11","slug":"how-long-should-you-wait-for-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\/","title":{"rendered":"How Long Should You Wait For Love"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>By Denise Turney<\/p>\n<p>1 Corinthians 13:7 says love \u201cendureth all things.\u201d In other words, love never gives up. It never quits as is evidenced in 1 Corinthians 13:13 where it states, \u201cAnd now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Love is Why We\u2019re Here<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Love is what we were created to do. However, this world\u2019s thought system seems to taint love, taking away its shine, even causing it to appear weak, as something to avoid. We think we\u2019re in love with someone only to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/2012\/07\/07\/alcoholism-in-america-growing-up-the-child-of-an-alcoholic-parent\/\">discover subconscious<\/a> (our hidden motives, hidden thoughts and hidden beliefs) that are rooted in the past are what caused us to <em>feel <\/em>a <em>strong attraction <\/em>to a person we claim to be in love with.<\/p>\n<p>Years may pass before we realize that our relationship with a person, our attraction to someone, has <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">very little<\/span>, if anything to do with the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">actual<\/span> person. Instead, if we still our mind until awareness arises, pushing away subconscious clouds, we may be surprised to find that we were attracted to a figure, experience or situation <em>from the past<\/em>. We may find that the people who remind us the <em>most <\/em>of emotionally charged experiences from the past grab our attention, demanding it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m in love! I\u2019m in love!\u201d we declare to family and friends. But are we? Or is our subconscious mind attempting to right a past wrong and seeking to use certain people (who again evoke strong memories from the past in us) to do so?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Love\u2019s Eternal Attraction<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t think this is possible, consider taking a few moments to create an <em>honest <\/em>portrait of the people you have felt <em>most strongly<\/em> attracted to. Don\u2019t be surprised if you find two or more similar qualities in each of these people. You might even discover that the people you feel the strongest attraction to have personality traits (e.g. extraversion, courage, risk taking, social skills, leadership) you wish you had. In this case, you might pull toward people you believe will fill up <em>perceived gaps <\/em>in you.<\/p>\n<p>The trouble is that we can\u2019t fill up gaps in each other. Sure, we can love, support and encourage each other. We can laugh together. We can feel joy and celebrate successes together, but we can\u2019t fill up gaps in each other. The reason we can\u2019t fill up gaps in each other is simple; in truth, in reality (not in illusion) there are no gaps, there is no incompletion in any of us. Those of us who are like Raymond, the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/2012\/07\/14\/young-men-and-women-coming-of-age-at-college\/\">main character <\/a>in <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Love Pour Over Me<\/span> find this nearly impossible to believe.<\/p>\n<p>In Raymond\u2019s case, an abusive childhood has set the stage, created years of programming that may take a lifetime to decode. Fortunately, for Raymond there is Brenda. Without fully knowing why she can\u2019t just walk away, Brenda works to understand Raymond, a hurting yet courageous and gentle man.<\/p>\n<p>But, how long should you (or Brenda) wait for love? How long should you wait for someone to stop being afraid of love so that they can receive the love you are trying to give them? How long should someone what for you to lower your fear of love so that you can receive their love in return? Is it possible that some people (like you, like me . . . like Raymond) may not progress beyond old perceived hurts to accept love in all its beauty, all its glory?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m referring to <em>true<\/em> and <em>real <\/em>love, not an illusion of love that\u2019s rooted in the past. Do you believe that love truly endures all things (e.g. wars, heartache, disappointment)? Do you truly believe that love is the greatest of all? If you do believe this, how is love changing your relationships? How is love causing you to <em>see <\/em>and communicate differently with the people in your life?<\/p>\n<p><em>Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ebookit.com\/books\/0000001582\/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Love Pour Over Me<\/span><\/a>, hop over to Amazon.com, B&amp;N.com, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ebookit.com\/books\/0000001582\/Love-Pour-Over-Me.html\">Ebookit.com<\/a> and get your copy of <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Love Pour Over Me<\/span> today. And again I say \u2013 Thank You! <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By Denise Turney 1 Corinthians 13:7 says love \u201cendureth all things.\u201d In other words, love never gives up. It never quits as is evidenced in 1 Corinthians 13:13 where it states, \u201cAnd now these three remain: faith, hope and love. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[97,18,96,102,17,98,100,101,99,104,103],"class_list":["post-90","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-real-life-musings","tag-1-corinthians-13","tag-denise-turney","tag-how-long-for-love","tag-how-long-should-you-wait-for-love","tag-love-pour-over-me","tag-love-scriptures","tag-loves-eternal-attraction","tag-strongest-attraction","tag-the-greatest-of-these-is-love","tag-the-illusion-of-love","tag-true-and-real-love"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How Long Should You Wait For Love - Real Life Stories, Books and Self Help<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How Long Should You Wait For Love - Real Life Stories, Books and Self Help\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Denise Turney 1 Corinthians 13:7 says love \u201cendureth all things.\u201d In other words, love never gives up. It never quits as is evidenced in 1 Corinthians 13:13 where it states, \u201cAnd now these three remain: faith, hope and love. &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Real Life Stories, Books and Self Help\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-22T00:04:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-10-09T03:59:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.chistell.com\\\/africanamericanfiction\\\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.chistell.com\\\/africanamericanfiction\\\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.chistell.com\\\/africanamericanfiction\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/31f9eaa563343764305f4a4690dc8a36\"},\"headline\":\"How Long Should You Wait For Love\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-07-22T00:04:45+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-10-09T03:59:11+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.chistell.com\\\/africanamericanfiction\\\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":711,\"commentCount\":0,\"keywords\":[\"1 corinthians 13\",\"denise turney\",\"how long for love\",\"how long should you wait for love\",\"love pour over me\",\"love scriptures\",\"loves eternal attraction\",\"strongest attraction\",\"the greatest of these is love\",\"the illusion of love\",\"true and real love\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Books\",\"Real Life Musings\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.chistell.com\\\/africanamericanfiction\\\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.chistell.com\\\/africanamericanfiction\\\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.chistell.com\\\/africanamericanfiction\\\/how-long-should-you-wait-for-love\\\/\",\"name\":\"How Long Should You Wait For Love - 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