{"id":3427,"date":"2026-10-02T19:04:03","date_gmt":"2026-10-02T23:04:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/?p=3427"},"modified":"2026-10-02T19:04:04","modified_gmt":"2026-10-02T23:04:04","slug":"want-to-feel-better-check-your-mental-habits","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/want-to-feel-better-check-your-mental-habits\/","title":{"rendered":"Want To Feel Better? Check Your Mental Habits"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Freelance Writer and Novelist Denise Turney<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Image created by TotalShape at Pixabay<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Imagine having the power to control your experiences. What would you do with that power? Would you cutout times when you got caught in a traffic jam, lost a sports competition, earned a bad grade, had an upset stomach or felt disappointed? Life would really be good then. Heck – your dreams would come true with that power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You Have The Power<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Truth is, you do have that power. It just doesn\u2019t seem like you do. Key to becoming aware of your inner power is awareness. Actually watch yourself. Pay attention to what you do, think and feel. Most of all, pay attention to your thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, you don\u2019t have to obsess over your thoughts to become aware of what you\u2019re doing with your mind. It\u2019s also not necessary to meditate or get quiet to become aware of your thoughts. You do have to accept that, although they might feel like they\u2019re coming from somewhere else, your subconscious and super-subconscious thoughts are coming from within you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Honesty is a must.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a start, take note of how you feel when you wake. And, pay attention to how you feel while you\u2019re with certain people, including people who influenced you when you were a kid. Also, do you struggle with unwanted emotions like fear, anger or sadness when it starts to get dark?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Focus On These Areas<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Work is another area to focus on. For example, do you catastrophize board meetings, projects or initiatives, especially as the do-dates get closer? Or do you find yourself thinking about a discussion that you had with a colleague more than a week after the discussion?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make this a habit and you might use your thoughts to try to control outcomes. Additionally, you might try to influence or control how another person responds to you. More about this later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more you take note of what you\u2019re feeling, the more you might notice emotional patterns that you choose. Furthermore, you might notice when<\/em> you invest in certain emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s the thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotions As Symptoms<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotions are the symptoms or the products of your thoughts. Once you spot repetitive emotions, feelings that keep cropping up, look inside. See if you can find the thoughts that are attached<\/em> to those emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s an example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For you, the work week starts on Monday. Every Monday morning, you wake feeling groggy and angry. After you pay attention to your mental habits, you discover that seconds after waking, you start telling yourself, \u201cI hate this job. Today is going to be so demanding. Didn\u2019t hardly get enough sleep last night. Mom will probably spot a stain on my shirt a block before I drop the kids off to her house on my way to work. My boss does not like me; I don\u2019t care what she says. . . .\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No surprise that you\u2019d head to work feeling angry. If you started investing in this unfortunate mental habit an hour or more before you woke, it wouldn\u2019t be a shocker if you woke groggy too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spin the clock. Now, it\u2019s Friday morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Better Mental Habits<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of telling yourself the manager at work doesn\u2019t like you, the day is going to be demanding, etc., you tell yourself that you\u2019ll have the power to live your own life soon, even if only for two days. Other things that you might tell yourself include, \u201cI\u2019ll get to sleep later and wake rested tomorrow morning. My friends and I are going camping. I love to camp. Going to sit down and create three new songs this weekend. It\u2019ll be great to have time to do what I want, looking forward to it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You could predict the emotions attached to those thoughts. It might be why you feel so good on Friday and Saturday, not to mention how much better you feel on holidays and vacations. Believe it or not, you\u2019re investing in different mental habits.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The sooner you start paying attention to your mental habits, the better. It could definitely help you to see that you\u2019re responsible for your life, including how you feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How To Shift Upward<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was a tough one for me. I still struggle with it. When experiences are as I\u2019d have them to be, it\u2019s easier to accept that my mental habits cause how I feel. Let unwanted experiences keep cropping up and I fight the fact that my mental habits have been at play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fight or not, it doesn\u2019t change the fact that mental habits create experiences and bring on emotions. It also doesn\u2019t change the fact that each person is responsible for the thoughts they invest in. As much as you may way to, you cannot control other people\u2019s thoughts or behaviors. This means that mentally prepping for conversations or replaying discussions in attempts to figure out how a listener perceived you could be futile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Life You Really Want<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

These mental habits could flat out be a waste of time and energy. Yet, as with other habits, just because the practice is a waste doesn\u2019t mean that you won\u2019t engage in it which is why it\u2019s important to choose to feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start where you are. Rather than aiming to feel joyous, aim for the next better emotion. So, if you\u2019re feeling rage, aim to feel hopeful. Reinforce your efforts by spotting thoughts you\u2019re having. Shift those thoughts until you start to feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, the goal isn\u2019t solely to feel better. More than that, you want to create the life that you truly want to experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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