{"id":1905,"date":"2022-08-11T18:50:28","date_gmt":"2022-08-11T22:50:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/?p=1905"},"modified":"2022-10-20T20:36:19","modified_gmt":"2022-10-21T00:36:19","slug":"learn-to-speak-up-for-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chistell.com\/africanamericanfiction\/learn-to-speak-up-for-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Get Bold – Learn to Speak Up for Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Books Writer Denise Turney<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Change isn\u2019t the only constant in this world. Having responsibilities is another constant. In fact, there may never come a time when you aren\u2019t asked to do something. It could be as simple as a friend asking you to babysit, a colleague asking you to fill in for him while he\u2019s on vacation or aging parents requesting that you spend more time with them. The only ways around this may be to isolate yourself or (this one requires courage) to speak up for yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Isolate or Speak Up<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For instance, you could build a cabin in a remote area. Should you truly love the great outdoors, this could prove to be a good choice. Of course, you\u2019d have to hope that no one else moved into the area or contacted you virtually, requesting something of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that choice could impact your life in unexpected, and, maybe even unwanted ways. It might also put you in a mode of running from experiences that you don\u2019t want instead of making choices that take you into experiences that cause you to feel joy. And who wants to spend their life running?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, there\u2019s another option open to you when it comes to dealing with constant requests, things that pull on your time and shift your focus and energy. You could learn to speak up for yourself. Love Pour Over Me\u2019s Raymond Clarke may know this best. After all, he learned this lesson an emotionally hard way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why It\u2019s Hard to Speak Up for Yourself<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hopefully, you\u2019ll listen to what life is telling you and not suffer before you learn to speak up for yourself. Just be ready to face challenges, especially internal fear. After all, it sounds easy enough<\/em> \u2013 speaking up for yourself. This choice sounds simple and easy. Yet, it can be one of the hardest things that you face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you learn to speak up for yourself, you risk disappointing the very people who\u2019ve been leaning on you. You might frustrate and anger people who have been relying on you to help them fulfill their responsibilities. People who once drew near you might avoid you, gossip about you and stop speaking with you. That, or they might try to talk you into doing what they want you to do again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting Comfortable with Conflict<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Psychology Today<\/em>, you might find it difficult to speak up for yourself, telling people \u201cno\u201d when they ask you to do something for them for several reasons. For starters, you might not like conflict. This is an item that I am way too familiar with. Just don\u2019t like conflict. Years ago, my dislike for conflict found me saying \u201cyes\u201d to almost any request.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Didn\u2019t matter how exhausted I was. I said \u201cyes\u201d to people whose schedules weren\u2019t as jammed as mine. Then, my life became simply overwhelming. That\u2019s when I learned to speak up for myself. And, yes \u2013 some people were taken aback, as they\u2019d grown accustomed to me adhering to their requests. Know what? Just like Raymond Clarke in Love Pour Over Me, I got accustomed to the change. In time, the requesters also become familiar with how I was now speaking up for myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Outcome? Gone was the feeling of constantly being overwhelmed. Another benefit was that my self-respect went way up. On top of that, I had time to do what brought me joy. More peace also came to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why You Might Feel Afraid to Say \u201cNo\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those benefits alone are enough to learn to speak up for yourself. However, in addition to not liking conflict, others reasons why you might not want to speak up and tell someone that you don\u2019t want to do something are because you don\u2019t want to upset the person or you might fear hurting the person\u2019s feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are more reason why you might fear speaking up. Do any of these resonate? Have you caught yourself wrestling with any of the below challenges:<\/p>\n\n\n\n