By Denise Turney
You don’t have to grow up in a single parent home to realize early in your life that your lot is to be one of the children Billie Holliday sang about in her hit song “God Bless the Child.” If you’re going to get on in this world, you’re going to have to fend for yourself. This realization might have come to you after you buried one or both of your parents. You might have realized this after you became a ward of the state, being moved from one foster home to another.
Growing Up as a Tough Independent Child
Or you might have struck out on your own, nothing except the clothes on your back serving as your wardrobe, after having yet another fight with your parents. The decision to remove yourself from an abusive relationship or home might have also helped push you into the streets. After all you’ve been through as a tough, independent child, leaving home may not have been as scary for you as it would be for other people simply because you’ve been fending for yourself since early childhood.
As with other people, you may have learned to be fiercely independent as you watched one or more of your parents struggle with an addiction. Or you might have learned how to be fiercely independent after a parent walked out when you were an infant or toddler, leaving you to spend your older years wondering if there’s something wrong with you, causing you to compel that parent to step out of your life.
You’re not alone. Both events happen to some children like Raymond Clarke, a boy struggling to grow up emotionally and psychologically balanced. Genetics aren’t against Raymond Clarke. It’s Raymond’s father’s inner conflicts that cause Raymond to feel abandoned, as if he’s in the world alone, all by himself. As many troubled parents do, Raymond’s father, Malcolm, takes his inner conflicts out on his growing son.
There is no mother to fend for Raymond; she walked out years ago. Just as you and many other children do, Raymond survives. Yet, his belief that everyone is, at their core, like his alcoholic father and absent mother, causes him to fear the very thing he needs . . . love.
As I hoped for Raymond, I hope that you learn how to receive love. I hope you don’t allow your independence to cause you to shun affection or to think that behind every kind act is a trick. Some people are genuine and sincere. Some people have no intentions to cause you harm. Some people are pulling for you, wishing, hoping and praying that you win.
Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to Amazon.com, B&N.com, Ebookit.com and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You! Consider Love.
http://www.verbalabuse.com/ (Verbal Abuse Site)