How Journal Writing Aids Self-Discovery

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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Journal writing aids self-discovery because it’s a safe way to be curious about yourself. Yet, that’s not all. Writing in a journal is a form of personal research. Although you can just start writing freestyle. To dig deeper inside your psyche, there are certain types of journal writing that might prove more helpful.

Topical Journal Writing

Topical journal writing is when you identify a specific topic or experience that you want to write about. For instance, if you realize that you have developed a pattern of being attracted to jobs or people who leave you feeling drained and taken advantage of, you could write about this pattern.

Reaching the point of self-discovery calls for freestyle writing about the pattern. Keep your writing focused on the pattern. Ask probing and clarifying questions. Types of questions you could ask yourself include:

  • When did I start feeling attracted to relationships, work and/or personal, that generate feelings of fatigue and abuse?
  • Why did it take me so long to realize that I had developed this pattern? Am I trying to hide something from myself? What am I trying to protect myself from?
  • Do I remember feeling fatigued or uncomfortable around someone when I was a kid? What was this person like?
  • How can I start to interrupt then break this pattern while loving myself and others?

Self-Discovery Support

Should your psyche currently be fragile, consider working with an ethical, licensed and experienced therapist as you do this work. Also, pay attention to your dreams (more about dreams later).

Return to topical journal writing as you continue the art of self-discovery. This is not a one-and-done process. Instead, it’s a lifelong journey.

Age Stage Journal Writing Descriptions

Use your journal to create descriptions of yourself at different ages. As an example, you could write a description of the preschool you. Write about your preschool self until you feel there is nothing left to write. Other ages you could write about in your journal are:

  • What you were like when you were in the third grade (Write about key experiences you had, friends and how you perceived yourself.)
  • Middle school (What were the middle school years like for you? How smoothly did you transition from elementary school to middle school?)
  • High school years (Looking back, were your high school years fun and exciting, a time of adventure? Did you struggle to feel like you belonged? Had you started to take smart risks or were you living on the edge?)
  • College life (If you went to college, how did you perceive life while you were in college? Was this a time when you entered a serious romantic relationship? Had you discovered one or more of your passions by this time?)
  • Adulthood (Within adulthood, you could write about your late 20s or what it was like to become a parent, if you have children. Other experiences you could write about include jobs you worked and why you choose those particular jobs.)

Link Between Family History and Journaling Self-Discovery

Learning more about your family is part of the path to self-discovery. Similar to the way elders once wrote family genealogy in the family Bible, you could use your journal to write about your genealogy. In addition to writing down your family tree, write about your relationship with family members you had close and distant relationships with.

As you continue to write, don’t be surprised if you find links between what you write about a certain stage in your life and a relationship you have with one or more family members. For instance, you might have spent a lot of time with your maternal grandmother during your elementary and middle school years.

Your grandmother’s courage and her work in the family and community, how she empowered others, might have had a great impact on you. Her smarts and the way she communicated with relatives, neighbors and other community members might have inspired the good works that you do where you live.

Fun with Journaling

The longer you engage in journal writing, the more you will notice how you’re changing. Continue to ask yourself probing questions. To get the most out of journal writing, be courageous enough to be completely honest with yourself.

Make writing in a journal fun too. Regarding self-discovery, there may be fewer ways to peek inside your subconscious than it is to write down your dreams. If you rarely recall your dreams when you wake, keep your journal and a pen at your bedside.

Jot down notes about your dreams as soon as you have them and start to awaken. When it comes to dreams that you recall just before you get out of bed for the day, take time to write down the full details of those dreams.

Lifelong Journal Writing

The more you write about the details of your dreams in your journal, the more you might recall your dreams. And you won’t just recall your dreams, you might recall greater details in your dreams. Once this happens, you might spot symbols, patterns and recurring themes in your dreams.

There may be fewer effective ways to watch your subconscious thoughts at work. Another benefit associated with this type of journal writing is the ability to become aware of future events. As surprising as it might sound, you could very well be your best friend, looking out for yourself, preparing yourself for the future.

Journal Writing That Taps into Your Core

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By Freelance Writer Denise Turney

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Journal writing is self-expression that heals. Why? Your defenses may be lower while you write in your personal journal. Write about an upcoming meeting with your manager where your workload will be discussed and you might feel empowered. On the other hand, if you had to speak with your manager face-to-face about your growing work responsibilities, you might do more than feel anxious.

Are You Employing Any of These Defense Mechanisms?

You might employ one or more defense mechanisms. For instance, you might project unconscious feelings of inadequacy because you’re speaking with someone in authority. This could mirror how you felt insignificant while addressing a challenge with your parents when you were a kid. Although the players are different, you’re projecting your feelings about talking about uncomfortable topics with your parents onto your manager at work.

Other defense mechanisms journal writing could free you from include:

  • Denial – Turning away from the “real” issue, striving to convince yourself that the problem doesn’t exist.
  • Repression – Akin to denial, repression involves an unwillingness to face and deal with a situation. However, instead of simply denying that the problem is there, you push the problem so deep inside your unconscious mind that it may never surface clearly enough for you to recognize the issue and take effective steps to heal.
  • Disassociation – A simple definition of disassociation is to “separate from reality”. If you daydream a lot, forget large gaps of time or you feel detached from what you’re experiencing, you could be practicing disassociation. Like other defense mechanisms, disassociation is largely unconscious.
  • Rationalization – In place of accepting the truth about what you or someone has said or done, you rationalize why something was said or done. An example of this is if your partner strikes you and you tell yourself (or a friend), “My partner hit me because her father had alcoholism and was physically violent with her when she was a kid.”

Be Honest with Yourself

Another often used defense mechanism is avoidance. This is an area where journal writing can produce great results. After all, while you’re writing in your journal, you are facing what’s going on.

At some level, you are acknowledging what has happened or what is in the process of happening. The closer you get to what’s really happening, the closer you can get to your core.

Stated another way, avoiding or denying your feelings, thoughts or experiences takes you away from healing. Hence, at the heart of journal writing that taps into your core is a compelling desire to be honest with yourself.

Surface Journal Writing

This isn’t to say that this honesty is always easy. But it is worth it. If you find self-honesty particularly difficult, start small. Start near the surface. Write about a color that you like. As a start, write about the color orange, red, blue or yellow.

More surface level journal writing prompts to help you relax into writing until you tap into your core include:

  • Writing in your journal about your last visit to the grocery store – How big was the store? What did you buy? Did you take advantage of price discounts?
  • Using your journal to describe flowers or plants you tended to in your garden last weekend.
  • Depict the last fun event that you attended with a friend.
  • Share the first three words that pop into your mind as soon as you awaken.
  • Look at a picture of a relative you know you can trust, someone who has proven that they love you with goodness and sincerity. Engage in journal writing to put on paper what you think about this person.

Spend two to three weeks engaging in surface journal writing. It should feel comfortable and non-invasive and non-threatening. Then, dig deeper through your writing, journeying toward your core.

Dig Deeper Thru Journal Writing

Ways to dig deeper through your writing include writing about your feelings in general. Then, writing about your feelings that are associated with a specific experience.

Go slowly. The aim is not to feel uncomfortable. Instead, the aim is to tap into your core. Ways to strengthen your efforts to reach your core, range from meditating three to five minutes before you start writing to doing 10 minutes of yoga after you write.

Despite your aim to reduce intense emotions, there are times when journal writing may cause you to feel excitement, anger, sorrow, hopeful, anxious, happy or a range of other strong emotions. Pause in your writing if emotions feel overwhelming or too strong.

Also, seek support from a licensed, ethical and effective psychotherapist if needed. Keep writing in your journal. This very act could help you start to lower your defense mechanisms, opening you up to a world of healing.

So Many Benefits

If you keep writing, you can become aware of your defense mechanisms. Another benefit is that you can become aware of your true self. Proving to yourself that you can be trusted is another benefit. After you start trusting yourself, the courage to try new things might spike.

More benefits gained from journal writing to tap into your core are:

  • Improved memory as you start to recall details the longer you write about a specific topic
  • Stronger creative writing abilities
  • Deeper learning of the world around you and how you interact with the world
  • Appreciation for yourself, others and your environment
  • Increased peace

You could also discover love-based ways to deal with conflicts and challenges. Byproducts of this could be sleeping better at night, healthier eating and drinking habits and a willingness to make better friends. This means saying good-bye to people who abuse you and welcoming people who sincerely love and care about you.

However long it takes, you’ll know when journal writing helps you tap into your core. And you’ll learn a lot about yourself, how amazing, how wonderful, you truly are. Again, the more you learn about your true self, the less you will tolerate abuse. After a while, you won’t tolerate unkindness for any reason. You’ll love yourself more and more.

Resources:

  1. 10 defense mechanisms and how to overcome them | Tony Robbins
  2. Dissociation | Psychology Today

Journal Writing Hidden Benefits

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By Fiction and Nonfiction Books Writer Denise Turney

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Daily journal writing advantages aren’t just for adolescents and teens. Gone are the days when journaling is merely used as a way for teens to document intense feelings they hold for a classmate, a relative or a hidden crush. In fact, approximately one out of six people writes in a journal today, according to Psychology Today. Reasons for daily journaling vary.

Journaling Hidden Advantages

So too do the benefits. As an example, people journal to document their night dreams, track fitness progress and to capture major life experiences. Opportunity to work through hard emotions and “stuck” thought patterns are other benefits associated with journal writing. These advantages may be gained because writing offers clarity.

You have to focus and be more present while you write in a journal. Furthermore, writing activates the brain’s reticular activating system (RAS). Also, the frontal lobe part of your brain is activated while you write. As you write, you also activate your brain’s parietal lobe. But who thinks about the brain while writing? Those are hidden advantages.

More Daily Journal Writing Benefits

Here are more, less hidden, advantages that you may bring into your life after you start a daily journal writing practice. Some of these advantages could have long term impact on your mental health.

  • Improved memory – Because journaling activates brain lobes, the act can find you focusing better, easier. As your focusing improves, so too might your ability to recall.
  • Dream clarity – Writing down night dreams can help you to remember your dreams more. Try it. See if you don’t start to not only remember your night dreams but to also recall details in your dreams. On top of this, because dreams can hold keys to the future as well as guidance on what you should do now, recalling dream details can let you know whether you should take that new job. That, or details in your dreams could signal to you if a relationship is rewarding or dangerous. Those are just two examples of how journaling could prove helpful.
  • Expanding communication – Keep writing, with or without journal prompts, and don’t be surprised if your vocabulary grows. Another takeaway that might not be surprising affects your overall writing skills. The more you write in a journal, the easier it may be for you to create pictures in readers’ minds, express emotions and convey important messages.

Capture Your History

This next journaling benefit snuck by me until I crossed paths with another journal writer. Our paths crossed during an Off The Shelf interview. During the interview, the guest shared that he not only wrote in a journal, but would occasionally return to former journals, re-reading passages.

He paid attention to what had been happening in his life when he seemingly randomly flipped to a page in an older journal. Another action that he took was to re-read journal writings, passages that he had written three, five or more years earlier, in order to spot patterns in his life.

Using journal writing to spot life patterns, including patterns that could be keeping me from goal achievement, had not before dawned on me. After that realization, I sat down and started looking through older journals, looking for hidden clues, patterns.

Honesty Matters

This is just one reason why daily journaling to capture your history can be beneficial over the long term. Pay attention to how you feel while journal writing, not just while you are actually writing but also how you feel days and weeks after you start writing in a journal.

As with other life practices, it’s important to be honest while daily journaling. The more expressive and honest you are while writing, the deeper the benefits could be. All of this is not to say that life will iron itself out or become easier after you start daily journaling.

However, expressing your thoughts, fears, challenges, successes and courage while writing in your journal could help you to feel heard. It could help you to better process experiences and perceptions. And, it can help you to capture your personal history, potentially spotting patterns, including patterns that have been holding you back.

Resources
https://www.bing.com/search?q=how+many+people+write+in+journals&cvid=b2eec6c462254972b27ac3f89a97c5db&aqs=edge..69i57j0j69i64.8144j0j1&pglt=675&FORM=ANNTA1&DAF1=1&PC=HCTS (Psychology Today)

Restoring Betrayed Trust

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By Fiction and Nonfiction Author Denise Turney

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People living with a belief in innocence may find it easier to trust than people who have experienced trauma, betrayed trust or a string of disappointments. In part, this may be because people who have lived in an environment of collaboration, honest communication and cooperation have had proof that there are people in the world who they can depend on and trust.

These Experiences Build and Deepen Trust

Types of experiences that build and deepen trust always include honesty. You might not be told all the details related to a project, meeting, etc. But what is shared with you will be the truth. Furthermore, details that might be withheld won’t be withheld to use as leverage or to manipulate you.

A good example of this is when you tell a child that you’re driving to the beach on tomorrow to enjoy the day if it doesn’t rain. You might not tell the child how long the trip will take, which road you’ll be driving down or when you plan to stop to fuel up your vehicle.

If it doesn’t rain and you do, in fact, drive to the beach with the child and have loads of fun enjoying the ocean, warm sunshine and sand, you could build trust between the child and you. Do the opposite and the results could be devastating, especially if you make breaking promises a habit.

Why Courage Counts More Than You Might Realize

Now, imagine that you’ve put your trust in someone only to be disappointed. Even if you don’t want to doubt people, you could start to find it hard to trust. Not only could you find it hard to trust the person who broke her promise to you, over time, you could find it challenging to trust anyone.

As hard as this outcome is, it could be even more painful to use courage and invest trust in someone who betrayed your trust only to have this person fail to deliver on a promise again. However, it doesn’t have to end there. In fact, what if you could help restore betrayed trust?

For instance, what would you do if for vacation you drove to an area with miles of open land, a wide countryside, and, while on vacation, you happened upon a young man who clearly was distressed? Once you confirmed that the guy was clear of bad intentions, would you help him?

Or would you turn away from courage and leave the distressed man on his own? What would you do if you took this latter option and a day later read in the newspaper that the guy perished?

Are You a Bridge?

Whether you realize it or not, you might have countless opportunities to build and deepen trust. One way that you could do this is to gain firsthand experiences that require you to exercise courage by giving yourself the chance to trust another person.

Another way that you could do this is to help another person restore their betrayed trust. Back to the parenting example, if someone has repeatedly betrayed your child’s trust, you could be a bridge between your child and that person. That way your child wouldn’t have to deal with the person directly, potentially reducing or eliminating future harm.

Secondly, you could create more opportunities to build your child’s trust. Revisiting the beach example, you could spend an uninterrupted hour three days a week with your child engaging in loving, safe activities. Do this and you’d be keeping promises and demonstrating that exhibiting the courage to trust another person is not bad or unintelligent.

Help restore betrayed trust and you could be doing a great work. Don’t think so?

Will You Restore Betrayed Trust?

Consider the times when you lost trust in someone. Simply recalling how it felt to be disappointed and discouraged may be enough to see how powerful restoring someone’s trust is. To help restore trust, you might have to practice awareness.

In other words, you might have to look beyond the surface. Instead of seeing someone as being needy, afraid or aloof, you might be advantaged if you start to consider why and how the person became the way that he is. If you consider that the person might have had his trust betrayed numerous times, you could see a seemingly “inconvenience” (a person asking for help, a runaway hiding in your garage, etc.) as a great opportunity to restore betrayed trust.

It takes Clarissa (Escaping Toward Freedom) time to get here, to realize what’s in front of her. Yet, she does learn. Healing one another requires awareness and the willingness to restore betrayed trust with love, courage and patience. Look around. There are so many safe opportunities to restore betrayed trust.

Why Life Is Filled with Mystery and Suspense

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By Mystery Writer Denise Turney

mystery and suspense light
light showing mystery and suspense

Even illusionists and fortune tellers know that life is filled with mystery and suspense. Fact is, regardless of your background and despite your hopes, wishes and abilities, there’s so much you may never know. In fact, you might spend years feeling, really believing, that you have a solid handle on life, only to discover that you really never did have as much control as you thought you had.

Facing What’s Coming

That realization could come to you in the form of a dream, an unexpected job shift or the transitioning of someone you love. Then, there are economic, nature-related and societal changes that seem all but a mystery, cloaked with anxious suspense. It’s what the world experienced years ago with the outbreak of COVID19. Before COVID19, there was Ebola, AIDS, yellow fever, smallpox and other contagions.

Who saw those viruses and diseases coming? And, who knew that the COVID19 virus would unsettle the world for two years?

These types of mysteries may be why we seek out religious prophecies, magic and astrology. If only we could know everything that was coming. But would simply knowing what was coming next bring the constant peace you’re seeking?

At first thought, it seems as if knowing something is going to happen before it occurs takes the sting out of the change. Yet is that what happens?

As an example, if you knew that you were going to suffer a tragic, though not fatal, fall while mountain climbing, would pain from the fall be less painful? Would knowing about the fall before it occurred change anything?

Uncloaking Mystery and Suspense in Your Life

That may be a reason why life is filled with mystery and suspense. If knowing how every event was going to unfold didn’t change you or how you feel, what’s to be gained if the mystery in this world is taken out?

Another point to consider is that much of what appears to be mysterious seems a secret because it holds details that you may not want to face. I was recently watching the movie, The illusionist. Eisenheim, the illusionist in the movie, appeared to have special powers. So much about what he did was hidden, mysterious.

That cloak was partly removed when he told the inspector how he performed an apple trick. At that point, it became clear that suspense can also derive from lack of knowledge and an unwillingness to pay attention.

Hence, life may be filled with the tension of mystery because you’re far too distracted to pay attention to tiny details that serve as clues to what’s coming in your life or to what’s going to happen around you next. Howbeit, that’s another point – living with distractions.

What’s The Last Unexpected Event You Faced

Other reasons why life seems filled with mystery include not wanting to see the link between what you’re doing right now, what you’re convincing yourself of right now and what shows up next in your life and a desire for irresponsibility. Think about it.

Not being responsible for where you are right now could free you from inner work. In other words, if you’re not responsible for where you are (wherever that is), you certainly couldn’t be held accountable for what comes of your life. Turn away from inspecting minute details and you could convince yourself that events are just happening to you.

Keep at it, and you could become convinced that your life is the one thing that you have no or little control of. But, what if, in your quest to free yourself of details and responsibility, you ventured to a quiet place only to be met with a most unexpected event? That event could be anything from having a vision, having your home destroyed in a fire that has been determined to have been deliberately set (by who, no one knows) to receiving a notice that you have been given an inheritance from someone you never met, etc.

Furthermore, because of this event, you now must solve a real mystery. There’s too much on the line for you to turn away. Instead of turning away, you must get to the bottom of this mystery. Walk away and your life will feel like it’s burdened with suspense.

How Are You a Mystery, a Suspense to Yourself

Look around. Have you faced such an experience, even once? Did you pursue the mystery? If so, what did you discover about yourself? Did you discover that, despite what you faced, in spite of living with so much “unknown” you are more enlightened, loved and empowered than you thought?

Look back at your life and see if there’s a mystery waiting for you to solve, the type of real life mystery that, once your solve the mystery, you gain a key that helps you to unlock before unknown and blessed doors inside of yourself.

You’re Too Close to Winning To Quit

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By Freelance Writer and Novel Author Denise Turney

archery target face in close up photography of someone close to success
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Winning is a lot about commitment and tenacity. You need an unexplainable desire to succeed. Why? There are countless shifts, challenges, setbacks and surprising advances, not to mention totally unexpected industry trend changes, on the success path.

Spending months, even years, studying the industry or market you want to develop, sell and distribute products or services in is admirable. However, it’s not enough to insulate you from disappointment and rough patches.

Desire Has Real Affect

After years of pursuing novel writing, as well as freelance writing, one thing I have learned with certainty is that pursuing a dream brings a slew of uncertainty into your life. This is where desire has real effect.

Desire what you are pursuing deeply enough and can press your way through any obstacle, any setback. The key is to mix desire with tenacity. Refuse to quit, simply refuse to give up.

If you need motivation to keep going, consider:

  • What you will forfeit if you quit (e.g., chance to pass a successful family-owned business that you founded down to future generations, realization that you can succeed, a deeper knowing that you are a champion)
  • Why you started pursuing a dream in the first place (remembering why you want what you want will play a key role throughout your life)
  • Your purpose for being in this world. A deeper part of you, perhaps your core, could be guiding you toward a goal, down a path. Although it might feel like a goal or dream was birthed at your mind’s conscious level, your Higher Self could be calling the shots. Quitting would move you away from your purpose.

Someone Is Watching You

Someone is watching you. Think about it. Have you ever caught yourself watching someone?

Perhaps you were admiring the way they build effective teams, resolve conflicts, take creative ideas and mold them into enterprises that hold up for decades. Or you might have caught yourself admiring someone for the way they effectively juggle a busy family and operate a nonprofit organization that helps hundreds of people a year, all while maintaining optimum physical, mental and spiritual health. Well, just as you watch others, someone is watching you, perhaps admiring you and mimicking you.

You Could Be Close to a Breakthrough

More importantly, you could be an hour or days away from a huge breakthrough. Let’s say you have already put in 10 years of work, honing your craft or enhancing a product. For me, that’s writing novels, fleshing out characters, editing-editing-editing and then turning a manuscript over to a professional editor, then marketing and promoting daily until the story I wrote finds its readers. What’s the dream you’re working on?

Back to the 10-year example, throughout these 10 years, you’ve seen your share of trouble. Each time you felt inspired or motivated, believing that you were going to finally win in a big way, an unexpected setback appeared. The setback (e.g., economic shift, health issue, relationship breakup) might have demanded your attention to the point where you couldn’t focus on anything else.

What If Your Dream Is Closer Than You Think?

Ten years of that type of back and forth is a lot to keep pressing through. It’s understandable that you feel like quitting, but what if your huge breakthrough is closer than you think?

Other reasons not to quit include:

  • Quitting robs you of experiences. These are experiences that you will only enjoy after you accomplish what you set out to achieve.
  • Lessons that you learn on the success path can last a lifetime. You can also pass what you learn to your friends, family and beyond. But you have to succeed first. After all, people might not listen to you as fully as they can until after you succeed.
  • Your success motivates other people, shows others that they too can succeed. This is a powerful outcome. And you might not meet or become aware of all the people you’re accomplishments motivate. As an example, the fact that you didn’t quit and did yield the success you desired could encourage someone not to give up on their children who might be struggling with an issue right now. It could also encourage someone to exit an abusive relationship, trusting that a better life does, indeed, await them.

Become a Difference Maker

Regarding how your success motivates others, if you persist and commit to your dream, you could become a difference maker in your family. Nieces, nephews, cousins and siblings might dust off their own dreams, stirring up their courage and go on and step into a better life.

Yet, perhaps most importantly, by not quitting you open yourself up to bigger and better experiences. From where you are now, you cannot see just how far you could go. Right now, you can’t see every door that will open if you keep going. Neither can you see the many people who will come into your life, people you would never meet if you don’t succeed.

And yes, you will learn life lessons as you travel from success to success. Pursuing success will also change you. It’s been said that this may be one of the greatest success rewards.

Go Get It

You might have heard that even if you don’t fulfill your dream, you’ve won because, by pursuing your dream, you changed in rewarding ways. As comforting as this might sound, it wouldn’t be a stretch to think that, deep down, you want more than the inner change and the life lessons that come to you as you continue to pursue your dream.

What you want is to experience, breath and feel, what it is like to live with the success you may have started desiring when you were a kid. Simply acquiring life lessons and shifting internally is not what you got on this path for.

Good for you for wanting all of what you started on the success path to gain. The last thing you want is to come up short and be told “at least you tried” or “look how much you learned along the way”.

Keep going. Pivot. Make changes. Continue to learn. Be persistent, tenacious and committed. Don’t quit. You really can fulfill your dreams.

Are You Trapped in Success Illusion?

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By Freelance Writer and Books Author Denise Turney

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It’s easy to fall into success illusion. Desire to succeed, all by itself, could fuel the error. A history of getting what you want without having to work for it or knowing how the goal was met could also attract you to an illusion.

Success Illusion Signs

The unfortunate thing is that a success illusion feels good, but it’s not real. Signs that you’re in this type of illusion include:

  • You’re proud of how much work you do, how busy you are, without knowing if your efforts are paying off.
  • Fantasy is a mind trick you invest a lot in, spending hours each day dreaming about living at certain success levels without doing any work to really get there.
  • Defining achievements as “luck” – experiences that only happen to “special” people has become common for you.

Rewards of being trapped in success illusion are linked to emotions. If you’ve ever fantasized that you were in a relationship, working a career, fulfilling community or social goals, the types of actions that improve your and other people’s lives, you know how good it feels to imagine you’ve already accomplished a long-term goal.

Stop the Fantasy Rewards

You might even start rewarding yourself based on how strong the fantasy (and emotions linked to the fantasy) is. Let this happen and you could slip into a cycle of fantasy-reward, the very cycle that could keep you from actually taking smart actions to produce real success.

An example of this is of a gambler believing that, this time, she’s going to hit big. Should she have won $1,000 or more just once, she might convince herself that she’ll win big again, maybe even scoring a six-figure win. That belief could create “good feeling emotions”, propelling her further into debt.

Family and friends telling her that she’s trapped in an illusion might not work. At some point, all these loved ones might be able to do is to watch while she sinks deeper into debt feeding the illusion.

If you’ve talked with someone who has seemingly hit bottom and listened to them tell you about their past victories, even as they struggle to get through the day, you know what the end result of being trapped in a success illusion can look like. Once you believe that you’ve already done your best or that you’re winning when you aren’t, it can be challenging to pull out of the fantasy.

Free Yourself from Success Illusion

Add in the belief that it’s up to something else, a force, to map out your life and make what you want come true and you could end up sitting on the sidelines, watching you life (and opportunities to really succeed) pass you by. This might be a reason why scams work.

Fortunately, even if you find yourself trapped in a success illusion, you can get out. You can go free of the fantasy. There’s no way to con yourself about this. Honesty and truth have to be at work to free yourself. To begin:

  • Write down where you are and where you want to be. For example, if you’re $20,000 in debt, write that down. Then, write down how much you want to have in your savings, checking and retirement accounts. Later, you’ll identify smart actions you’ll take to get from where you are to where you want to be. For now, get clear about recognizing and accepting where you are now and where you want to end up.
  • List actions you took to get to where you are. The more clearly you see your role in where you are, the more empowered you might feel to create the good change in your life you want to experience.
  • In bulleted form, write actions you can take to change your course. Do this free of judging whether you think you’ll succeed at these actions. Simply brainstorm and bring steps you could take to achieve your goal to the front of your mind.
  • Identify resources and tools you can use to achieve your goal.
  • Get clear about why you want to achieve the goal. Sounds simple, but the why can keep you going, serving as powerful motivation.

Digging Deeper

Next, dig deeper into the process, mapping out detailed actions you’ll take. Commit to taking these actions. If you don’t, you could slip back into fantasy. To commit, you’re agreeing to be resilient and persistent.

Quitting can’t be on your list of things to do, not if you really want to succeed. Stay on track by creating a spreadsheet that list where you want to be, the actions you’re going to take and the actions you are taking.

But don’t just list actions you’re taking, list the results of your efforts. You need to see which actions are working and which actions you might need to change or stop.

In fact, if you’re serious about success, review results daily, weekly and monthly. Because this an ever changing world, you’re going to have to make adjustments as you continue on your path. Tracking the actions you take and the results of those efforts can make it easy to spot just where you need to make an adjustment.

What If Success Isn’t Sexy?

Another thing that your tracker might show are approaching trends. That’s another reason why reviewing the tracker daily, weekly and monthly is smart.

You might have figured out that achieving success is generally so un-sexy. But if the why of your goal is strong enough, each step you take can yield tremendous reward. In other words, you might feel on top of the world because you can clearly see that you are making progress.

A growing confidence and faith that you can gain success in other areas is a by-product of sticking to your goal and making continual progress. Keep in mind that, depending on your goal, you might have to continue advancing for the remainder of your physical experience.

Careers in the arts, scientific explorations and commitment to a community or your family are types of success goals that may not have an end date. So, keep going, stay focused, review your tracker and celebrate your milestone successes.

Doing so might not feel as cozy-good as a fantasy or an illusion. All things considered, it’s much better because it’s real.

Successful Book Marketing: Knowing When to Shift

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By Books Author Denise Turney

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Photo by Element5 Digital on Pexels.com

Book marketing is not magic. Books don’t sell simply because you want them to. It doesn’t matter how passionate and sincere your intentions are. To sell your books, you have to take smart actions. You also have to recognize change. This article covers actions you could take to finally yield the sales you’ve been wanting and waiting for, perhaps for years. Knowing when to shift is a part of that success.

Book Marketing Keys – Consistency and Spotting Change

After publishing and marketing books for more than 20 years, I have discovered that consistency is key to successful book marketing. Another key is recognizing and adjusting to change in smart ways. Regardless of the marketing strategies that you employ, consistency and recognizing and adjusting to change play a role.

  • As a beginning step, to gain more sells, get clear about the number of books you want to sell each day, week, month and year. Write it down. Clarity is a huge part of success. You’ll see this more and more as you continue marketing.
  • Use a spreadsheet or another tracking system to build book marketing analytics. If you think this ties into clarity, you’re right. Details to add to the tracker include date, the number of books sold each day and the sales source (indie bookstore, Cushcity, Amazon, Mahogany Books, Harriet Bookstore, Barnes & Noble, etc.). Other details to include are the advertising and/or marketing resource used to gain these book sales. Book marketing resource examples are BookBub, Amazon Ads, AALBC ads, book festivals, speaking events and cultural fairs.
  • Identify book marketing resources you will try. This is where your spreadsheet increases in value. As you monitor your marketing results, you’ll notice which resources are working and which need change. For instance, you might need to adjust ad spend on one resource or you find that you need to run a marketing promo using a different resource on a different day of the week.

Pay Attention to Book Marketing Spend

Consider completing free online trainings that book marketing resources (e.g., Written Word, Reedsy, Amazon) offer. If you join discussion forums at these sites, you can gain valuable insights and tips about ways to get more from these marketing resources without increasing your spending, which brings up an important point.

Pay attention to how much you spend to meet your book sales goals. Strong book marketing resources have sales spend analytics embedded into their reports. By adding these analytics to your main spreadsheet, you can spot trends and times when you need to shift fairly quickly, maybe within minutes of reviewing the data.

Really pay attention to your spend versus book sales. To experience successful book marketing, you (or someone you hire) needs to accept facts. This is no time for magical thinking. As shared at the start of this article, it’s not enough to want to sell a lot of books. You have to take the right actions, and generally not just once, but again and again.

It’s Time to Change

Let marketing spend head in the wrong direction for too long and you could start to feel frustration, anger and even hopelessness. Yet, it doesn’t have to go this way. And even if you already are in a situation where you’ve spent more than you’ve earned, you can turn the tide. You can choose again, making smart decisions, setting yourself up for better outcomes.

Should your marketing analytics show that you’re spending $50 a day on marketing but only earning $20 a day in royalties from your book sales, accept what you see. Shift. Adjust your spend, focusing on marketing resources that yield the best return-on-investment (ROI).

Add more free marketing strategies to your sales plan. This includes speaking events, book signings and handing out postcards, bookmarks, brochures and flyers at events that attract your books’ target audience. Just don’t continue digging a hole; shift. It’s a part of the book sales process.

More Book Marketing Strategies That Work

Here are additional book marketing strategies that work. Choose three to four when starting out, noting which strategies yield greater gains for you.

  • Meet book buyers in person. Attending book festivals, writer conferences and cultural events are great ways to achieve this. To connect with book buyers face-to-face, you could also schedule speaking events. These are events where you are the keynote speaker. Looking for places to start speaking at? Colleges and universities, as well as social organizations, are places that seek speakers. In addition to teaching about a topic that your books are related to, you could read from your books or give a spoken word performance. Check online and offline event calendars, contacting organizers of events you’d like to speak at.
  • Sell and sign your books at the end of the events. To continue book marketing efforts, encourage attendees to sign-up to receive your newsletter.
  • Pass out bookmarks, flyers and brochures at events you attend. Add your author website URL to these marketing tools.
  • Send postcards and snail mail to local booksellers, asking if you can schedule in-store book signings. After you schedule an appearance, start telling your family, friends and book supporters about the event, encouraging them to attend. You’ll see that the more you help businesses, book buyers, organizations and other retailers get what they want, the more they may assist you.

Surprising Way to Sell More Books

This next book marketing strategy might surprise you, although it shouldn’t. However, it took me years to fully grasp the impact of this strategy.

To continue selling books, keep writing and publishing quality books. This may be the single most important step in gaining more book sales. Similar to how recording artists have to keep coming out with new music, to enjoy a rewarding book writing career, keep creating and publishing new quality books.

Want a long, rewarding writing career? You’ll have to shift here too. Write enough books and you’ll discover that each of your books might not be a hit with readers, regardless of how much you market them. Instead of moaning about a book that’s not well received, shift. Start writing in a different genre, about different characters or in a different style that readers prefer more.

Stay Motivated, Stay Focused

And learn to spot trends and industry changes. Learn to recognize when a marketing resource or strategy is no longer working. Depending on how long you’ve been writing and publishing books, you saw this change when e-books first came out. Amazon and large bookstores like Barnes & Noble and Borders (remember Borders?) created change too.

If you refused to shift even while facing these changes, you might have seen your book sales drop, if not stall. To steer free of this, check your spreadsheet analytics daily. Just reviewing your analytics daily can help you know when to shift. It’s also a great way to avoid slipping into magical thinking (believing that you’re going to sell a lot of books simply because you want to).

Stay motivated through the changes and shifts by reading books that inspire and encourage you. Also, listening to tapes that help keep you focused on your goals is a way to win.

Set Your Intention for Success

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By Books Writer Denise Turney

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You need a target to hit. Without a clear goal, you could spend way too much time circling the mountain. It’s not enough to just want something to happen. To gain success, you need to know exactly what you want and why. Get specific.

What Do You Want

For example, do you want to feel the emotion “happiness”, lose weight or be wealthy? At first glance, those goals may sound clear. However, they are broad. As it regards feeling “happiness”, you could want to feel happy all the time. Aim for this and you might not come to know what shortcuts your path to happiness. You also might ignore signs that you’re headed off path as it regards key life areas.

That’s right. Although frustration, anger and sorrow are emotions that don’t feel good, they can serve as great guideposts. Think of it this way. If you were driving your car and hit a guard rail, you’d know that you were in a danger zone. Keep going, and you could suffer damages.

The same applies with emotions. Sadness, frustration or anger could alert you to the fact that you’re not working the job that you really want to work. Or those emotions (especially if they linger) could alert you to the fact that you’re in a relationship, etc. that you don’t want to be in.

Get Clear About Your Intentions

Additionally, as it regards getting specific about what you want, if you want to lose weight, narrow it down. As an example, instead of going broad with “I want to lose weight”, get more specific and develop a goal to “lose 15 pounds within three months.” Regarding the goal to be wealthy, consider narrowing that goal down into something like “I want to pay off both of my credit cards by end of the year, then grow my savings up to $10,000 or more by the end of next year.”

Those are specific “intended” goals. To stay encouraged as you pursue those goals, align rewards to the intentions. Make sure that you set rewards at markers along the way toward the goal fulfillment. For instance, you could reward yourself with a day off (actually take a vacation day) after you pay down a quarter of your credit card debt.

Of course, it would be smart to avoid using credit cards as a way to reward yourself as you work to eliminate debt. Yet, that shouldn’t be a problem, as there are so many things that you could do that don’t call for spending money. There’s fishing, hiking, bike riding, visiting local arts centers, stopping by a museum, checking out a local bookstore, hanging out with family and friends and so much more.

You Should Be Rewarded

Reward yourself by engaging in activities that you truly love and enjoy. Not only could this encourage you to continue moving forward, it could reinforce the message that you love yourself. And that’s a powerful message to get across to yourself.

After you set clear intentions, think about the reason/s that you want to fulfill the specific goal. Believe it or not, this might be where the rubber meets the road. The why of your aim and your actions might turn out to be your biggest payout.

Check out these whys as it relates to weight loss, wealth and artistic success. See if any of these whys resonate with you.

  • To live with high physical energy and to feel vibrant, hopeful and joyful
  • To enjoy physical strength and top health, opening myself up to more and more fun activities
  • To live debt free for the rest of my physical experience
  • To live debt free and build financial wealth so that I can explore experiences that bring me joy
  • To gain success creating artwork that I love to create, enough success to earn an entire income creating and selling my artwork
  • To make doing what I love, as it regards art and creativity, my life’s work

Create Powerful Whys

Keep going. Create a list of powerful whys. Connect those whys to your goals/intentions. As a note, the more powerful your whys, the easier it may be to map out a clear path or a strategy to achieve your goals and start receiving the rewards that are directly linked to your whys.

This brings up another important point. After you identify specific goals, set reward markers and establish clear whys, you need to outline actions that you are going to take to fulfill your goals. Again, you’ll need to get specific.

Here’s an example of specific steps that you could take to gain wealth. Remember to align this and other goals with one or more powerful whys to stay encouraged and motivated. If you want to gain wealth, consider taking the following actions:

  • Create a line-item budget (add mortgage, rent, utilities, credit card payments, entertainment, etc. to the budget)
  • Identify expenses that you could forego temporarily or permanently. Eliminate these purchases at least temporarily.
  • See which expenses you could substitute for lower costing items. For instance, instead of eating out for lunch, cook enough fresh food over the weekend to easily bring lunch into work.
  • Pay $100 or more extra a month on the credit card with the highest fees and interest rates
  • Complete online consulting or freelance work. Put 60% money earned from this extra work in an interest-bearing savings account. Consider investing the other 40% of this money into regulated low-risk mutual funds.

Go Get What You Really Want

Start taking the actions and see if you don’t begin to feel empowered. Choose goals and whys that are rooted in love. Also, when you break goals down, set powerful whys and intentions as well as reward yourself along the way, you could feel energized enough to tackle two to three goals simultaneously.

That’s not all. You pursuing and fulfilling your goals could inspire other people to go after what they really want. In fact, don’t be surprised if colleagues, relatives and friends start noticing a positive change in you. They also might start to ask you how you changed.

This is a great time to share the power of setting an intention for success, including how setting clear goals, identifying clear whys and outlining action steps offers amazing energy to your pursuit. A strong why, rewards and clear intentions and action steps can fuel you throughout this world’s ups and downs.

Take Advantage of the Temporary

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By Journal Writer and Novelist Denise Turney

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Photo by Andre Moura on Pexels.com

Love for happy times to last forever in this world? Wish that those sweet, loving moments in your romantic relationship would go on and on, without an end? Oh, if the good times lasted forever. If your favorite emotions and experiences stayed with you permanently while you journeyed through this world.

Most Of Your Journey

Yet, that’s not how it goes. Good times don’t last forever in this world, but neither do challenging times. That’s very good news. What do you think?

To make the most of your journey here, start taking advantage of the temporary. As a first step, approach situations with the mindset that, despite how much you like or don’t like an experience, it -won’t go unchanged. Accepting this could keep you from jumping from relationship to relationship, job to job, worship center to worship center and so on.

Admittedly, it took me years to learn that nothing last forever in this world. Here, everything changes. Look back over your life and you might see that, although you suspected this was the case, you didn’t really believe it.

In fact, you might have thought that there was a special person, great job, best town, etc. that you could connect with and enter a state of permanent bliss. Of course, you could keep looking. Over time, you might start to notice that you’re moving in circles, looking for a permanence here that doesn’t exist.

Options

Here are some ways that you could take advantage of the temporary. Whichever options you go with, keep an open mind. There may be nothing that helps you to stay in the flow better than an open mind.

  • Wake with a spirit and mindset of appreciation. A very simple way to pull this off is to raise your hands as soon as you wake and simply say, “Thank you!”
  • Consider the people who helped develop experiences that you enjoy. For example, before you head to an amusement park, concert, festival, etc., pause and think about the event organizers, promoters, ride builders, artists, etc. who helped bring the event from idea stage to reality. Let yourself appreciate how these people, whether they know each other or not, worked together to create an experience that you are about to absolutely love.
  • Be fully present when you are wherever you are. You will never be in that exact place in the same exact state/perception again. Even if the walls, ceiling, sky, grass and trees look the same, so much has changed since the last time that you were there.
  • Pause before you eat a meal. Instead of only speaking grace, actually see the farmers working the soil, planting seeds and tending to crop. And see truckers delivery produce and other food to stores. Visualize grocery store stockers and cashiers stocking shelves and checking you out of the grocery store line. All of this and more may have occurred before the meal you’re about to enjoy made it to your plate.
  • Give thought to doing the same as it regards other areas of your life. For instance, you could think about the engineers, technicians and factory workers who designed and built the automobile that you drive. Allow yourself to see the many different people who work hard to help you gain the experiences that you treasure and enjoy.

Appreciate Temporary Experiences

The above actions can help you to see more clearly how temporary experiences are. Additionally, the above actions could help you to live with much deeper appreciation. Keep at it, and you might start to marvel at what’s happening in your life.

Also, to take advantage of the temporary, coach yourself. Teach yourself that you won’t have forever in this world to take advantage of opportunities. This doesn’t mean that you go through every door you see. It’s smart to pause, pray and wait for Higher Guidance before you walk through an open door.

Once you receive an internal “green light”, take smart action. In other words, don’t stall and sit back and try to talk yourself out of what you want. Go for the right things! That open door you’re looking at right now might not stay open.

Life Without Regrets

This brings up an interesting point. Among the things that people say they regret when they are facing the end of their physical journey is the fact that they didn’t do what they really wanted to do while they were here. The end of the road is not the time to realize you didn’t live your own life.

It’s also not the time to finally accept that you spent your days sacrificing (doing what you thought others wanted or needed). If joy is your strength, you’re going to have to consider what causes you to experience joy. Then, you need to allow yourself to have these experiences.

Because joy and love go together, these will be experiences that are rooted in goodness. So, take advantage of good open doors, knowing that those opportunities might only be temporarily available to you. Athletes might get this lesson more frequently than others. Smart athletes know the importance of taking advantage of good opportunities as soon as they appear.

Look Up

On the flip side, taking advantage of the temporary means that you don’t get bogged down with focusing on challenges. You don’t let undesirable experiences shift your focus off of love. Another thing, you don’t live as if you expect a bad time or a challenge to last forever. As someone told me at a worship center years ago, “trouble don’t last always”.

Did I ever gain lots of encouragement from hearing her say that. It’s true; trouble doesn’t last forever. But neither do good times stay exactly the same forever here. You might be doing yourself a favor as you practice appreciation and steer clear of believing that trouble will last. Set yourself up for greater success by moving from opportunity to opportunity, refusing to bind yourself to a current or past “good experience”.