Getting over the fear of love

By Denise Turney


Fear of love is powerful. Love arouses a host of pictures, images and emotions. Couples embracing, children laughing, a lioness bathing and caring for her cubs . . . an aging couple sauntering down the sidewalk, hands joined and fingers entwined, immediately come to mind.

What images, sounds and emotions arise in your mind when you hear the word “love”?

Do you ever feel afraid when you consider love?

You may not think that fear shows up, tagging along like a pestering cousin you wish would stop popping over unannounced and uninvited. But, consider this.

Hidden fear of love

Have you ever met someone that you were attracted to, someone you found interesting, an affectionate, active listener who you also found physically attractive? You didn’t consciously intend or set out to meet the person, but now that your paths have crossed, you find yourself thinking about him a lot.

Do you tell yourself (or other people if they ask) that you’re not attracted to the person? Do you try not to think about the person? Why?

Could it be that you’re working to stay clear of pain? It’s at this point that you’re practicing avoidance. Although you could avoid asking the person out on a date only to have them tell you that they’re dating someone else or aren’t interested in getting to know you on a romantic basis, you’re also setting yourself up to experience the pain of not even trying to get what you want.

Love does not hurt

Either way, you’re not walking into love. Instead, you’re engaging in fear of love. In your
effort to protect yourself from rejection, you could actually be setting yourself up for regret. Choose which “R” you want to roll with. Fear is going to cause one of them to show up.

It’s understandable if you’re afraid of love. Every time it even hints at an appearance, you go into self-protection mode. But, are you really happy living this way, on a constant lookout for love, so you can get on the run before love gets too close?

And yet, love is probably the very thing that you pray for, long for . . . really want.

The next time love appears, don’t run. Get observant and watch what happens. You can’t control love. It’s not a puppet. But, real love doesn’t hurt. It does take courage to let real love come close. Why not start now?

Fear of love gripped Love Pour Over Me‘s Raymond Clarke until he was well into his middle-aged years. Until he got above the gripping fear of love, he went from one emotional roller coaster event to another. Fortunately, he’d met a woman who shared enough care and acceptance with him to make a huge impact. There’s no reason why what happens to Raymond Clarke in Love Pour Over Me couldn’t happen to you too.

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