How Long Should You Wait For Love

By Denise Turney

1 Corinthians 13:7 says love “endureth all things.” In other words, love never gives up. It never quits as is evidenced in 1 Corinthians 13:13 where it states, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Love is Why We’re Here

Love is what we were created to do. However, this world’s thought system seems to taint love, taking away its shine, even causing it to appear weak, as something to avoid. We think we’re in love with someone only to discover subconscious (our hidden motives, hidden thoughts and hidden beliefs) that are rooted in the past are what caused us to feel a strong attraction to a person we claim to be in love with.

Years may pass before we realize that our relationship with a person, our attraction to someone, has very little, if anything to do with the actual person. Instead, if we still our mind until awareness arises, pushing away subconscious clouds, we may be surprised to find that we were attracted to a figure, experience or situation from the past. We may find that the people who remind us the most of emotionally charged experiences from the past grab our attention, demanding it.

“I’m in love! I’m in love!” we declare to family and friends. But are we? Or is our subconscious mind attempting to right a past wrong and seeking to use certain people (who again evoke strong memories from the past in us) to do so?

Love’s Eternal Attraction

If you don’t think this is possible, consider taking a few moments to create an honest portrait of the people you have felt most strongly attracted to. Don’t be surprised if you find two or more similar qualities in each of these people. You might even discover that the people you feel the strongest attraction to have personality traits (e.g. extraversion, courage, risk taking, social skills, leadership) you wish you had. In this case, you might pull toward people you believe will fill up perceived gaps in you.

The trouble is that we can’t fill up gaps in each other. Sure, we can love, support and encourage each other. We can laugh together. We can feel joy and celebrate successes together, but we can’t fill up gaps in each other. The reason we can’t fill up gaps in each other is simple; in truth, in reality (not in illusion) there are no gaps, there is no incompletion in any of us. Those of us who are like Raymond, the main character in Love Pour Over Me find this nearly impossible to believe.

In Raymond’s case, an abusive childhood has set the stage, created years of programming that may take a lifetime to decode. Fortunately, for Raymond there is Brenda. Without fully knowing why she can’t just walk away, Brenda works to understand Raymond, a hurting yet courageous and gentle man.

But, how long should you (or Brenda) wait for love? How long should you wait for someone to stop being afraid of love so that they can receive the love you are trying to give them? How long should someone what for you to lower your fear of love so that you can receive their love in return? Is it possible that some people (like you, like me . . . like Raymond) may not progress beyond old perceived hurts to accept love in all its beauty, all its glory?

I’m referring to true and real love, not an illusion of love that’s rooted in the past. Do you believe that love truly endures all things (e.g. wars, heartache, disappointment)? Do you truly believe that love is the greatest of all? If you do believe this, how is love changing your relationships? How is love causing you to see and communicate differently with the people in your life?

Thank you for reading my blog. To learn what happens to Raymond, Brenda and the other characters in Love Pour Over Me, hop over to, B&, and get your copy of Love Pour Over Me today. And again I say – Thank You!